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We received these questions from readers and would like to share
them with
the answers with you;
Assalamu Alikium
I am a Muslim sister that works in a Muslim school,
praise be to God.
I would like to know if a Muslim woman could remarry if she has a young
teenage daughter living in her house. I wonder, if this is permissible in
Islam to have a man, now the stepfather in the same house with a new wife
and
her daughter. This is just a hypothetical case, but it was mentioned and
I did not know
the answer. InshaAllah you will be able to answer that. Thank you.
Your sister in Islam
M.F.
Salaam alaikum,
Thank you for your mail.
The Quran is very clear about all rules dealing with our lives and even details
whom we can or cannot marry. Anything not specifically prohibited in Quran
must be considered permissible. God even encourages marriage to discourage
immorality.
[24:32] You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married.
They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they
are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, Knower.
(See also 24:33)
In the case you have quoted, it is assumed that the couple are presently
single individuals (never married or widowed or divorced). If that is all
there is to it, there appears no prohibition in Quran for this man to marry
the woman who already has a teenage daughter.
Since you are in a Muslim teaching school and will become responsible for
what information you pass on, it is best that you have all the verses from
Quran dealing with the prohibited and allowed categories in marriage. Maybe
you have them, maybe you do not. However the verses have been provided for
your convenience along with some other information. Therefore, please read
through this entire communication.
Below are the permissible and prohibited categories from Quran:
Allowed categories for
marriage:
(a)
[5:5] Today, all good food is made lawful
for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also,
you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste
women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their
due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking
secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and
in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.
(b)
[33:50] O prophet, we made lawful for
you your wives to whom you have paid their due dowry, or what you already
have, as granted to you by GOD. Also lawful for you in marriage are the daughters
of your father's brothers, the daughters of your father's sisters, the daughters
of your mother's brothers, the daughters of your mother's sisters, who have
emigrated with you. Also, if a believing woman gave herself to the prophet
- by forfeiting the dowry - the prophet may marry her without a dowry, if
he so wishes. However, her forfeiting of the dowry applies only to the prophet,
and not to the other believers. We have already decreed their rights in regard
to their spouses or what they already have. This is to spare you any
embarrassment. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful (See also 33:51-52).
(c)
[4:25] Those among you who cannot afford
to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows
best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief
is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you
marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral
behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they
are freed through marriage, if they commit adultery, their punishment shall
be half of that for the free women. Marrying a slave shall be a last resort
for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver,
Most Merciful.
(d)
[33:37] Recall that you said to the one
who was blessed by GOD, and blessed by you, "Keep your wife and reverence
GOD," and you hid inside yourself what GOD wished to proclaim. Thus, you
feared the people, when you were supposed to fear only GOD. When Zeid was
completely through with his wife, we had you marry her, in order to establish
the precedent that a man may marry the divorced wife of his adopted son.
GOD's commands shall be done.
(e)[60:10] O you who believe,
when believing women (abandon the enemy and) ask for asylum with you, you
shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that
they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are
not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed
to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You
commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries.
Do not keep disbelieving wives (if they wish to join the enemy). You may
ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid.
This is GOD's rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.
(See also 60:11-12).
Forbidden categories for marriage:
(a) ( Do Not Marry Idol
Worshipers) [2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe;
a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor
shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they
believe. A believing man is better than an idolater, even if you like him.
These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He
wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.
(b) (Respect for the Father)
[4:22] Do not marry the women who were previously married to your
fathers - existing marriages are exempted and shall not be broken - for it
is a gross offense, and an abominable act.
(c)
(Incest Forbidden)
[4:23]
Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters,
the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of
your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls
who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters
of your wives with whom you have consummated the marriage - if the marriage
has not been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for
you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall
not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing
marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
(d) [4:24] Also prohibited are the women
who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who
are at war with you. These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories
are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries.
You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever
you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit
no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient,
Most Wise.
(e)
[24:3] The adulterer will end up marrying
an adulteress or an idol worshiper, and the adulteress will end up marrying
an adulterer or an idol worshiper. This is prohibited for the believers.
(f)
[33:52] Beyond the categories described
to you, you are enjoined from marrying any other women, nor can you substitute
a new wife (from the prohibited categories), no matter how much you admire
their beauty. You must be content with those already made lawful to you.
GOD is watchful over all things. (See also 33:50-53).
The basic rules governing marriage
are:
(1) Both people are single, (never married, widowed or
divorced). God discourages polygamy. Polygamy is allowed only under very
specific circumstances.
(2) There is an interim waiting period for recent divorcees
or widows/widowers which must be fulfilled.
(3) There must be mutual attraction and dowry. The dowry,
after due negotiation, must be paid by the man to the woman accordingly.
(4) Marriage being a sacred institution, the marriage should
be fair and equitable to all concerned. Common sense decrees that the stepfather
will treat his stepdaughter like a member of his family and love and protect
her accordingly. However, the daughter must also continue to enjoy the rights
and privileges she enjoyed from her previous father/family.
Below are the verses from Quran which deal with the issues mentioned above.
Interim period, for divorcees:
[2:228] The divorced women shall wait three menstruations (before marrying
another man). It is not lawful for them to conceal what GOD creates in their
wombs, if they believe in GOD and the Last Day. (In case of pregnancy,) the
husband's wishes shall supersede the wife's wishes, if he wants to remarry
her. The women have rights, as well as obligations, equitably. Thus, the
man's wishes prevail (in case of pregnancy). GOD is Almighty, Most Wise.
(See verses 2:226 to 2:242 , 65:1-2 and 4:127 for complete details dealing
with divorce).
Marriage laws:
[33:49] O you who believe, if you married believing women, then divorced
them before having intercourse with them, they do not owe you any waiting
interim (before marrying another man). You shall compensate them equitably,
and let them go amicably.
[65:1]O you prophet, when you people divorce the women, you shall ensure
that a divorce interim is fulfilled. You shall measure such an interim precisely.
You shall reverence GOD your Lord. Do not evict them from their homes, nor
shall you make life miserable for them, to force them to leave on their own,
unless they commit a proven adultery. These are GOD's laws. Anyone who
transgresses GOD's laws commits an injustice against himself. You never know;
maybe GOD wills something good to come out of this.
(See 65:2 and 2:228).
Interim period, for widows:
(You Shall Observe the Pre-Marriage Interims)
[2:234] Those who die and
leave wives, their widows shall wait four months and ten days (before they
remarry). Once they fulfill their interim, you commit no error by letting
them do whatever righteous matters they wish to do. GOD is fully Cognizant
of everything you do. (See also 2:235-237).
Adopted/Orphaned/Step children must receive equal
rights
[4:127] They consult you concerning women: say, "GOD enlightens you regarding
them, as recited for you in the scripture. You shall restore the rights of
orphaned girls whom you cheat out of their due dowries when you wish to marry
them: you shall not take advantage of them. The rights of orphaned boys must
also be protected as well. You shall treat the orphans equitably. Whatever
good you do, GOD is fully aware thereof."
(See also 28:27).
Do Not Change Your Names:
[33:5] You shall give your adopted children names that preserve their
relationship to their genetic parents. This is more equitable in the sight
of GOD. If you do not know their parents, then, as your brethren in religion,
you shall treat them as members of your family. You do not commit a sin if
you make a mistake in this respect; you are responsible for your purposeful
intentions. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
(please re-examine this verse
to determine what constitutes adoption in this case. See also 4:5-6).
Dowry must be paid:
[4:4] You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably. If they willingly
forfeit anything, then you may accept it; it is rightfully yours.
(see
also 4:24-25, 5:5, 33:50, 60:10).
[2:236] You commit no error by divorcing the women before touching them,
or before setting the dowry for them. In this case, you shall compensate
them - the rich as he can afford and the poor as he can afford - an equitable
compensation. This is a duty upon the righteous.
[2:237] If you divorce them before touching them, but after you had set
the dowry for them, the compensation shall be half the dowry, unless they
voluntarily forfeit their rights, or the party responsible for causing the
divorce chooses to forfeit the dowry. To forfeit is closer to righteousness.
You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. GOD is Seer of everything
you do.
General:
[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women,
or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet
them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate
the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows
your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver,
Clement.
Polygamy is discouraged -- contrary to common
belief:
(Polygamy discouraged)
[4:127] You can never be equitable
in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore,
do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage,
nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain
righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. (see also 4:128).
(Grounds For Polygamy)
[4:3] If you deem it best for the
orphans, you may marry their mothers - you may marry two, three, or four.
If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one,
or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to
avoid financial hardship. (See also 4:20)
http://www.submission.org/women/marriage.html
At the end, sister, I invite you to examine something most important. That
is the definition of the word Muslim itself. Many of those who
call themselves "Muslim" are not Muslims at all. A true Muslim devotes his
worship to God alone independent of messengers and saints. To worship God
alone means to call upon Him alone in the prayer and not add any other names
anywhere, nor refer to any other books except Quran for religious information.
Muslims make the mistake of referring to other books than the Quran as a
source of their religious law which is strongly condemned by God in the Quran.
See 6:114.
Disobedience of God's prohibitions to add other names in the prayer or refer
to other books other than Quran is tantamount to setting up partners with
God, called "Shirk" or "Idol Worship" by definition. In the verses provided
to you, God has forbidden marriage with idol worshippers.
Details about God's true Islam now being restored to its original pristine
purity, devoted to God alone, are available on the site for your addition
examination.
Select from multiple topics on the site at
http://www.submission.org/
or
http://www.submission.org/islam
to know more about true Islam.
Salaam and may God bless you. Please feel free to ask further questions.
Your Brother,
K.R.
salam alaykum,
i had a question about marriage... i want to marry
someone who is religious and prays and knows his religion and i have found
the right person but my family wont accept him cuz he is from a different
country.. but he is muslim and his family is good alhamdalah , do i need
their consent to marry this person , is it haram if i do ?
Please reply soon.
Signed;
"Need advise"
I seek refuge in God from Satan the rejected.
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Salaamun Alaykum Dear "Need advise"
By your family, I presume you mean to include your parents.
The only reason where we are allowed not to obey our parents is when they
command us to set up idols beside God as stated in 29:8 and 31:14-15.
[29:8] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. But if they try
to force you to set up idols beside Me, do not obey them. To Me is your ultimate
return, then I will inform you of everything you had done.
[31:14-15] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore
him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive
care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents.
To Me is the ultimate destiny. If they try to force you to set up any idols
beside Me, do not obey them. But continue to treat them amicably in this
world. You shall follow only the path of those who have submitted to Me.
Ultimately, you all return to Me, then I will inform you of everything you
have done.
At other times God commands us not to mention Uff, the slightest gesture
of annoyance to our parents.
[17:23-24] Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship except Him, and
your parents shall be honored. As long as one or both of them live, you shall
never say to them, "Uff" (the slightest gesture of annoyance), nor shall
you shout at them; you shall treat them amicably. And lower for them the
wings of humility, and kindness, and say, "My Lord, have mercy on them, for
they have raised me from infancy."
From Quran we learn that parents give their daughters in marriage. This would
imply that their consent would be required otherwise they will not give their
daughters.
[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman
is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your
daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing
man is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell,
while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies
His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.
In the situation you are in, it would be proper to invite their attention
to the marriage requirement as per Quran as given at the following links
and explain that you are not violating the conditions of marriage prescribed
by God and that on the other hand you are complying with all of it. It could
give them more confidence and cause them to accept it.
Please see also;
Marriage
in the Quran.
But more than that it is important that you implore God to guide you to do
what is most pleasing to Him. God is the only One who answers our prayer,
if He so wills.
[2:186] When My servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I answer their
prayers when they pray to Me. The people shall respond to Me and believe
in Me, in order to be guided.
[40:60] Your Lord says, "Implore Me, and I will respond to you. Surely, those
who are too arrogant to worship Me will enter Gehenna, forcibly."
[18:10] .........., "Our Lord, shower us with Your mercy, and bless our affairs
with Your guidance."
[18:16] (derived) "Our Lord, shower us with Your mercy and direct us to the
right decision."
May God make it easy for you, as is most pleasing to Him
The Bee
Salam,
Is Temporary (Muta) Marriage Allowed in Islam? Surah:4
Ayat:24
Thank you
I seek refuge in God from Satan the rejected.
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Salaamun Alaykum
Temporary marriage is not permitted in Islam. The verse you have quoted
is given below and there is no reference to a temporary marriage here.
(sub-title) Mutual Attraction And Dowry Required
[4:24] Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they
flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.* These are GOD's
commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage,
so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality,
by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall
pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing
to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.
Footnote: *4:24 If believing women flee their disbelieving husbands who are
at war with the believers, they do not have to obtain a divorce before
remarriage. See 60:10.
I am also giving below the next verse 4:25, which could be the verse you
are referring to:
[4:25] Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may
marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are
equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission
from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry
equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery,
or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they commit
adultery, their punishment shall be half of that for the free women.* Marrying
a slave shall be a last resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is
better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
In this verse too, God does not advocate temporary marriage. Temporary marriage
as it is permitted in some so called "Muslim" countries is no
more than prostitution which is strongly condemned by
God in the Quran. Marriage is a sacred relationship. Marriage
as per Quran is given at the following page:
http://submission.org/women/marriage.html
There are no other marriages in Quran. As we see here marriage involves solemn
pledge. It is a serious matter not to be taken lightly. Marriage relationship
that is temporary does not have God's approval. God does not advocate divorce,
but God has in His infinite grace and mercy specified laws for divorce. For
ending a marriage one has to go through these procedures, there are no 2
ways about this.
http://www.submission.org/women/divorce.html
gives the details of divorce per Quran.
I hope this will be helpful, God willing.
May God bless and be with you.
Salaamun Alaykum S....
Thank you for your kind words about our site. All praise is due to God.
>> in Islam, i understand that if a woman
is unable to bear a child, her husband is permitted to marry another with
her permission for the purpose of having children..>>
This understanding does not have Quranic back-up. Please see
http://www.submission.org/suras/app30.html
for circumstances allowing polygamy under Quran. The understanding as stated
in your mail could only be from Hadiths which is nothing but lies and
fabrications attributed to Muhammad. We do not follow Hadiths. Please see
http://www.submission.org/hadith/
for more information on Hadiths. The other questions in this
regard are therefore not relevant.
> > another unrelated question is that why
is there lack of mention True Love or Romantic Love...is that because this
is discouraged??? >>
I understand you are referring to love among the spouses. Mutual attraction
is one of the condition for marriage. Please see
http://submission.org/women/marriage.html
As you would see true love is not discouraged and we know from Quran that
love towards our spouse is only from God:
[30:21] Among His proofs is that He created for
you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment
with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your
spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who
think.
I hope the above is helpful, God willing. Please do not hesitate to write
to us, if you have more questions.
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