Asalaamoalaikom.
My name is Z.N and I am writing
this e-mail to address a personal concern and ask for
any advice from the Muslim Brothers / Sisters
regarding this issue based on the Quran and Hadith.
I was engaged about 4 years ago. My fiance` and I have
been talking occasionally on the phone ever since and
we really like each other, but lately I learned that
the practice of engagement has no validity in Islam.
Both of us are currently college students and can't
get married and live together for at least another
2 years. My question is that is there any solution
to out situation to avoid further sin other than
getting married and living together ? Any info on this
matter will be appreciated.
Jaza-qallah.
_________________________
Salaamun Alaykum Z.N.,
>> ask for any advice from the
Muslim Brothers / Sisters regarding this issue based on the Quran and
Hadith.>>
Although this is not your question I would Insha Allah like
to address the issue of " based
on the Quran and Hadith" before proceeding to answer
your main question.
We, like all the true believers should do, believes in God
alone and we make sincere attempt to follow Quran
alone.
Please make a special effort to study the issue of Hadiths
and Sunna as you can find it on our web site at;
http://www.submission.org/hadith/
- to get a better insight into false doctrine of
Hadith
Hence, we can only point out for you the information from Quran,
the only source for religious
information. You must verify and examine the same
for yourself and decide as commanded by
God in 17:36. God is the only One whoguides.
Coming to your question
>> but lately I learned that the
practice of engagement has no validity in
Islam.>>
Marriage is a sacred institution which is not to be taken casually.
God puts up a lot of considerations
for marriage. To begin with, two requirements of
a marriage are mutual attraction and dowry see 4:24.
With regard to the first requirement, in my view it takes time
for the couple to know if they really love each other
or not, sometimes years. Thus God
gives us the alternative of engagement first, that we may have a
better chance of getting to know the other
person, to see if he or she is really
the right one for us.
We must know that even if we are engaged to someone we are
not allowed to meet with that person
in private unless we have something righteous to discuss
with them. Sexual relationship is not allowed until
after the wedding. A sexual friendship or arrangement
will be considered adultery, a gross sin in Islam.
[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your engagement
to the women, or keeping it secret.
GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not
meet them secretly, unless you have something
righteous to discuss...........
[17:32] You shall not commit adultery; it is a gross
sin, and an evil behavior.
There is nothing unrighteous about the meetings during the
engagement periodif it is for discussing righteous matters
and for the sole purpose of getting to know whether
they like each other. You can meet in the open
(or privately, with righteous intention,
if required) with consent of both your
families.
In my view if the interaction between you and your fiancée`
is only through telephone, there
is no sin on either of you.
>> Both of us are currently college
students and can't get married and live together for
at least another 2 years. My question is that is there
any solution to out situation to avoid further sin other
than getting married and living together ? Any info
on this matter will be
appreciated.>>
If one is still pursuing education he may not be able to afford
the dowry to be paid to his wife
(which as stated earlier is a requirement for
marriage). Further God has made men the
bread-earner - see 4:34. Since you have yourself said
that you "can't get married and live together for at
least another 2 years" you might want
to wait for a few more years. Obviously you
are aware that you cannot take the responsibility of supporting
your wife and family. When you
take on a wife, and have children it is a big
responsibility.
It is probably better for you to further your education first
to better your chances to care
for a family. Meanwhile you can continue to meet your
fiancée`like righteous Muslims in the open (or privately,
with righteous intention, if required)
with consent of both your families. There would
be no sin on either of you on this
account.
May God in His infinite grace and mercy guide us in His right
path.
Salaam!
info@submission.org
