PART THREE
Also read these other parts,
1,4,5 ,
6 ,
7,
8
Part 2 is a special adult oriented part. Click
here.
To write to Adam and Chancellor, write to;
a-c@submission.org
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Dear Adam & Chancellor
is an exciting question and answer column that's open
to all youth (and the young at heart). If you're curious about a subject
or have a question you've been afraid to ask someone else, give Adam &
Chancellor a shot. Your questions can even be kept confidential if you like.
Whether you're dealing with peer pressure and everyday challenges or have
questions about your religion or the meaning of life, Adam & Chancellor
will give you some great feedback.
Check out some of the past questions and you'll get an idea. You can also
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Elite@submission.org
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(19)
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I feel so desperate. I'm fifteen
years old. I missed school today and have done so many
times because I didn't do my homework because I was
depressed. Is there anyone I can continually
e-mail (I'm sure you two are very busy)? I'm so sad and I
wish I didn't feel this way. My parents make me feel so weak
and desperate, like all I can do is cry. So, what do
they do to make me feel this way? One day before going
to school, during an argument, my mom told me that now
she knew why people used to bury their
female daughters. How is that supposed
to make me feel at the beginning of my day? Then I wonder
what I did do deserve everything I get
from my parents. I mean many people believe in Karma;
the energy you put out, is the energy you get back,
right? What about those 6 year old kids who are abused
by their parents, or sexually abused girls, do they
deserve it? Did they emit some kind of
negative energy to deserve that? Doesn't that kind of put a
hole in the
"what goes around comes
around theory." I feel like no one cares about and maybe
no one should have to, but from what I know I think
people NEED love, or they just can't really function.
I feel like there's no reason to persevere. I don't see
the light and I just want to die! I have
all this homework due tomorrow that I haven't even done
and thinking about it (it's 8:55 PM) just makes me cry.
My parents make me feel so helpless. Do I deserve it?
I try not to have an attitude and be a crazy kid. I
just wanna do my hw, participate in clubs, be a "well
rounded student" and get into college. I guess
that's what I want. I don't know what
I want because it seems as if I try it's just in vain
because they'll always make me feel so utterly desperate.
I am pathetic in my life right now, and I feel so
alone, and you may tell me that I'm not alone, but I
still will be. I wish I would die tonight. It won't happen
though. I hate myself, I mean if I loved myself I probably
wouldn't be writing this. Well I could go on forever
but I'll end this letter. I wonder if this world and
God is as great and merciful as they
say it is, will you help me? I wonder if anyone, if you, would
ensure that somebody would really be okay? Would
one person ever go that far for another, would you? I know
u think i should be "okay" by myself maybe but I need
help. Please don't let me fade with a whisper and a
sigh-
Signed:
F.T.Z.
Dear FTZ,
First, I want to say how much I appreciate you for taking the
time to share your feelings. What I find in your e-mail
is an intelligent and concerned person with a deep sense
of emotions and feelings. So many people your age our
out of touch with their feelings that they can not
even
express themselves like you have. Let me start with one of my
favorite verses from the Quran:
22:15 If anyone thinks that God cannot support him in this
life and in the Hereafter, let him turn completely to
his Creator in heaven, and sever his dependence on anyone
else. He will then see that this plan eliminates anything
that bothers him.
Also, I can't resist telling you about 2:186. In this verse,
God tells you,
"When my servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I
answer their prayers when they pray to Me. The people
shall respond to Me and believe in Me, in order to be
guided."
I suggest you get an English translation of the Quran and read
a few verses each night (I suggest the translation by
Rashad Khalifa which you
can buy
through Amazon.com.. God mentions that in the Quran
there is healing and mercy for those who believe.
You are going through a very difficult time and you need to
turn to God,
your Creator for support
and strength. I think you will slowly begin to
experience true peace and love as you start to develop your
connection with God. Losing hope is not the answer to
your difficulties. What I read in your e-mail is that
you have a very strong personality and that you should
start complementing yourself on the positive things you have
in your life. Try not to repeat the negative things that your
parents tell you. You may even think to yourself that
the negative things your parents say are not really
about you but rather about their own limitations and
lack of personal growth. They may be projecting their
own
issues on to you.
The homework you have and the negative feedback from your parents
can be
viewed as a test for you
to see if you will turn to God for help. On the road
of life, you will definitely experience bumps and bruises.
You
will experience hard
times and pain. However, with every difficult experience
that you get through, you come out as a much stronger person
in every way. This strength in your personality is a great
thing to have as you become older and realize that you
are able to take on challenges with ease. As God says in the Quran, with
pain there is gain.
Please realize that there are people out there that care about
you. I am one of them and I am here for you if you need
any support.
God bless you,
Adam and Chancellor |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(20) |
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Dear Adam and Chancellor,
I am a 15 year old girl and I'll just like to relate to
you about my relationship with my mother.
My
mother and I have never been close except when I was a
baby. I had at one time thought she hated me because in my
pre-teens she used to beat and say things that hurt my
feelings. I know in the Quran it says
that everyone should respect and obey their
parents(especially their mother) no matter how they
treat us. But now been in my teenage years, there is
something inside me that makes me want to pay back my
mother for all those times she deemed my self-esteem.
And I am deeply ashamed to say that once I pushed my
mother when she tried to beat me. But it was only after
that, that she stopped beating me. Even though now she
is nice to me, I feel like I just can't be respectful
to her. I always manage to hurt her feelings some way.
And then she'll tell me how she suffered to bring
me
into this world and that if I don't treat her right I
will
never find happiness in this world.
This makes me feel
contrite and I will silently promise to mend my ways. But
after sometime I forget that and start acting badly again.
I know what I am doing is a serious offence and I'm always
praying to God not to let me go astray and to help me
treat my mother respectfully because if it wasn't for
her, I'll never be in this world today. But I just can't
control the feelings my mother evoked in me during those
days in my pre-teens.And I wish sincerely that my mother
and I will one day be close because it's also destroying
my relationship with my father (who I'm very close
to). I will very much like you to advice me on this
matter and tell me how I can learn to stop my grudges
against my mother.
Thank-you very
much. Please answer me by e-mail.
Signed: Am I in the wrong?
Dear Am I In The Wrong,
Your understanding of the Quran is beautiful! I really appreciate
your awareness about preserving the proper relationship
with your mother. I can only imagine how difficult it
must be honor and respect your mother even though she
hurt you emotionally and physically as a child. I
don't think that your mom did these things
to you intentionally because she "hated" you. Parents
have different ways of raising their children. Some
parents have learned their parenting from their own experiences as
children. Perhaps they were raised with forceful discipline
and now pass on their experience to their own children
because it is all that they know and they feel it has
been beneficial to their own adulthood. Or maybe, your
mother experienced great difficulty in her life and much
of her stress was exhibited towards you.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not justifying
parental abuse in any way. However, I am trying to
give
you a different perspective for your mother's actions so that you
view them as motivated by a lack knowledge or a nature of
circumstance rather than a conscious personal attacks
directed at you. This perspective may give you more
understanding and strength in facilitating
forgiveness and reconciliation with your mother.
As you mentioned correctly yourself, respecting your parents
is one of the most important commandments God gives
us in the Quran.
[17:23-4] Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship
except Him, and your parents shall be honored. As long
as one or both of them live, you shall never say to
them, "Uff" (the slightest gesture of annoyance),
nor shall you shout at them; you shall
treat them amicably. And lower for them the wings of
humility, and kindness, and say, "My Lord, have mercy on them,
for they have raised me from infancy."
Of course, if your parents were forcing you to deviate from
the path of worshiping God, then you should not obey
them but still treat them amicably.
[31:14-15] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents.
His mother
bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier.
It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning.
You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents.
To Me is the ultimate destiny. If they try to force you
to
set up any idols beside Me, do not obey them. But continue to treat
them amicably in this world. You shall follow only the path
of those who
have submitted to
Me. Ultimately, you all return to Me, then I will
inform
you of everything you have done.
You are holding inside you very powerful emotions from
your impressionable years as a child. It’s very
hard to restrain these emotions when an event or interaction
with your mother triggers past memories. I can only
image how challenging it is for you not to give your
mother even the slightest gesture of annoyance as God instructs.
You should rest assured that God does not put you in a
difficult situation without giving you guidance and
support. There are several things you can do to stop
your grudge against your mother. When you feel your
emotions resurfacing, you should immediately
remember God and seek refuge in Him from
the whispers that may compel you to disrespect your
mother. Always give yourself a few seconds to think
about
God, reflect, and breathe deeply before you quickly respond. In
41:36 we read,
“when the devil whispers an idea to you, you shall
seek refuge in God. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.”
You should continue to pray to God that
He gives you the strength to forget the past and
forgive
your mother. You should pray that God gives you patience and
understanding in relating with your mother. Your number one
priority should be to please God and not to let the
emotions of bitterness and animosity get in the way
of growing your soul. Focus on developing the traits
of righteousness that God advocates in the Quran in 3:134 and
42:27: 3:133-4 You should eagerly race
towards forgiveness from your Lord and a Paradise whose
width encompasses the heavens and the earth; it
awaits the righteous who give to charity
during the good times, as well as the bad times. They
are suppressors of anger, and pardoners of the people.
GOD
loves the charitable. 42:37 They avoid gross sins and
vice, and when angered they forgive. God is encouraging
the righteous to race towards forgiveness and an
awesome
paradise and He is informing us that the righteous are
suppressors of anger and pardoners of the people. They forgive
when they are angered. God is talking to you and me.
It’s a small price to pay for such an amazing reward.
You should think about this tradeoff whenever you the
feelings toward your mother come out.
God also informs us how to deal with an inappropriate
response. 41:34-35 Not equal is the good response and
the bad response. You shall resort to the nicest possible
response. Thus, the one who used to
be your enemy, may become your best friend. None can attain
this except
those who steadfastly
persevere. None can attain this except those who
are
extremely fortunate.
We see in this verse the importance of praying to God for
steadfastness and perseverance. Can you imagine how
someone would feel if you responded kindly to an insult.
Your response alone shows the other person how wrong
they are for speaking with you in a bad manner and
would
cause them to reflect on their statements. The following
verse also has important lessons for us:
49:10 The believers are members of one family; you shall keep
the peace
within your family and
reverence GOD, that you may attain mercy.
Any believer who worships God alone is a member of your family,
this includes parents, friends, or distant relatives.
God informs us that we
should try
hard to keep the peace in our family and that this effort
may lead us to attaining God’s mercy.
Again, a small price for such a great
reward. A wonderful prayer that you can
recite is mentioned in the following verse:
59:10 Those who became believers after them say, “Our
Lord, forgive us and our brethren who preceded us to
the faith, and keep our hearts from harboring any hatred
towards those who believed. Our Lord, You are
Compassionate, Most Merciful.”
I am sure that you have spoken with your mother regarding the
past. If you have not spoken with her or you have not
been able to convey your feelings, I suggest you invite
her to dinner or for a private conversation. Set up
a time so that you are alone and that you will
not be interrupted. Express how you are
feeling and the difficulties you are experiencing in
forgetting the past. Make sure you speak with her
in
the best possible manner. If she is not able to listen to you or
does not understand where you are coming from, don’t get
frustrated, angry, or sad. It may take several, if not
many, meetings to resolve the past. I also suggest having
an intermediary such as a family counselor listen to
you both when you are meeting with each other. Having
a counselor does not mean you have serious family problems. It’s
just a way of having a sounding
board so that a neutral person can give you and your
mother honest feedback. Your mother may resist this
approach of having a stranger listen to the private past of
your family. In this case, you may ask a teacher in
school, another family member or perhaps a friend to
intervene. Getting your emotions out in the open may
be a good starting point toward the healing process and
letting go of that grudge.
You should remember that these are just
additional options to the main effort of turning to God and
the Quran for healing and mercy. I also suggest that
you and your mom set aside time every night to read
a few pages of the Quran together. You will be
spending quality time with her engaging in a process that
has tremendous
benefit for your
souls. Ultimately, the Quran will give you and your
mother
all the answers and guidance you need to reconcile the past and
work together in righteousness.
I am certain that the Quran will lead
to
the personal growth, self discovery, and faith you and your mother
will need to bridge your differences and focus on the main
goal of worshiping God. These challenges you are facing
are tests that God is putting you through that will
strengthen your soul. Take advantage of them and learn
from them so that you can come closer and closer to your
Creator. I will go out on a limb and say
that having a grudge means that, in a way, your ego
has been hurt. Each time you act out against your
mother, you are trying to get even for
the past and repair the ego that has been
crushed. You should be aware that the ego is an advocate of
vise and that you should try to suppress your ego as
much as possible.
Continue to ask for forgiveness when you
feel that you have disrespected your mother, repent
to God, and strive to reform yourself by following the
guidance that God has blessed you with in the Quran.
Adam
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(21)
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Assalamalikum,
Ive got a few questions to ask and have many thoughts just
lingering in my mind, and am doing things that sometimes
i think are islamically wrong.
well
let me fill you in.
i am a student, studying A levels
and in the first year was a very lively, enthusiastic
and talkative person. i was very free with the guys
especially and just basically had a good laugh with
them i called them my friends yet really was just trying to fool
myself because i had a crush on many, which i truly
regret. i have recently just come back from pakistan
and met up with one of my cousins who i liked and who
liked me, yet we are not engaged or anything, but however
something may happen between us.
i was not very
much into islam before and since i have met him i have mashallah
begun to pray and read the quran. however there are
many things that he has told me that i shouldnt really
be doing, such as listening to music, music as in indian
songs and indian films, and also not watching tv
because
it being a bad influence and leading you to do wrong things and
also staying reserved from males. therefore
i wanted to ask whether or not what he had told me to do was
correct or is it just simply a tradition.
so
when i came back from pakistan i had changed myself i was very
reserved from the guys and had stopped watching tv and listening
to music, yet at college people took this very seriously
and thought that i
had become a
religious freak. they thought that just because i read my
namaaz, quran and kept reserved from the guys they thought
that i was too much into islam, yet it was only at college
that i was like this. so i feel that by me doing theses
things i might give them a wrong impression of islam,
and that because of me they might think that they
by being much into islam you have to be
really reserved and quiet.
so please give me some solutions
to my thoughts and problems. thank you for your time.
i would really appreciate it if you would send the reply
to my email address.
Signed: Lingering thoughts
Dear Lingering thoughts;
Peace be upon you , Your cousin is following tradition not
God's word which is in the Quran. Most probably, he
has gotten his incorrect info. from traditions handed
down from family to family and supported by hadith
and
sunna attributed to the prophet Muhammad.
The one and only source of guidance is
the Quran. In the Quran, God warns us against following
any other hadith. Traditions have resulted in the many sects
dividing our religion. Check out out link at
www.submission.org/hadith
. Music is a beautiful blessing from God. Enjoy it! There is
nothing in the Quran against listening to good music.
Of course, if you start talking about very obscene music,
then I would use caution because God mentions in the
Quran that He does not like bad language. Check out
our link for more info about music
www.submission.org/teenagers/music-songs.html
Watching TV is a personal decision. If you feel that it
may pull you away from worshiping God or that it may
lead you to do bad things, then you should not watch
TV. Staying reserved from males is hard to answer
because
I don't know what your cousin is refering to. Please see our FRIENDS
section at;
http://www.submission.org/teenagers/friends.html
Having male friends with the honest intention
of friendship is O.K. As soon as you start developing
a crush then it's time to reconsider the extent of
your interactions because your intentions
have changed and it may lead you to
do things that are not in accordance with the Quran.
I recommend you get an English translation of the Quran and
start enjoying the purity and beauty of your religion.
I suggest an English translation by Rashad Khalifa which
you can order through Amazon.com.
Chancellor |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(22)
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ASALAAM ALAIKUM
WELL, IS IT A SIN TO LOVE SOME ONE AGAINST YOUR
PARENTS WISHES?
THX
IN LOVE, V.D.
Dear IN LOVE,
Your question is not as simple as it seems. You can love anything
against your parents wishes as long as you have honored and
respected them while making your choice. In this case it is not a sin. If
your choice involves shouting matches and distrespecting your parents, then
you are not following God's invitation to honor your parents and you have
allowed a personal preference to interfere with God's commandments. Perhaps
that particular choice was a test to see if you will honor your parents.
If you have a difference of opinion, you can discuss your preference with
your parents in the nicest possible manner and try to come to some mutual
understanding. If you can not reach a consensus and your decision is causing
emotional pain for your parents, I suggest that you do not go against their
wishes and postpone such a relationship while trying to reach a mutual
understanding with your parents. Find out whey they object to your loving
of that person. They should have good reasons. Parents do their best to give
their children the best of this world out of un-conditional love. The only
time we are allowed to disobey our parents , when they try to force us to
worship other than God or associate others with Him. Otherwise we should
treat them amicably and respect them.
Loving someone against you parents wishes involves another component. In
addition to making sure you honor your parents, you need to make sure you
are following what the Quran says about relationships. Being in love with
someone you plan to marry is beautiful as long as you maintain your chastity
until after you get married. If your love for someone is leading you to become
physically involved before marriage, then you are not following the Quran.
God bless,
Adam |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(23) |
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Hello, I am I'm a 15-year-old Muslim male. I
have a crush on a Muslim girl, I know it is prohibited to touch or express
your emotions to the opposite sex, but is it ok to talk to her. Please answer
quickly.
Thanks
Signed, Can we talk?
Dear Can we talk?
Thanks for your question. It's O.K. to talk to her if it involves something
righteous. You should not talk to her to express your sexual emotions and
feelings towards her. Since you have a crush on her, you must be very careful
of your intentions when you speak with her. I suggest that you try to change
your feelings so that you view her as a friend not as someone you have a
crush on. Be aware that you are being tested by God to see if you will make
the right decision or if you will give in to your emotions. Strengthen your
faith in God by reading the Quran, observing your prayers and being with
other believers. Try to occupy your mind with thoughts that will please your
Creator rather than sinking deeper and deeper into your emotions towards
someone else.
God bless you,
Adam |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(24)
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Assalam-Alaikum,
i'm a 21 yr old muslim female. i have been blessed
and lucky enough to be born into good wealth, and materially i have everything
a lot of people wish for. i have not forgotten to thank Allah for his kindness.
however, emotionally, i am and always have been very unhappy. i have been
prevented from going to university because i am a girl, although i do have
the potential of achieving good things in my life. i am currently at an age
where i should be getting married, but all the proposals i have received
have not been suitable so i said no. i am praying for the right man to come
along, although i know i'm perhaps asking for too much.
the thing is, i've been having funny dreams for
the past year or so. my first one came when i was told not to go to university.
i was distraught and i prayed to allah to give me a sign. that night i had
a dream where a voice said everything's going to be all right. i've had a
truckload of them since then, but i'm not sure what they mean.
Can allah talk to people - i've already had advice
from someone, and they said yes, allah can give us signs. i can give you
the details of the dreams if you want, but they have been varied from the
kind and sensitive to the angry.
If allah's told me he'll help me why is he not
helping? he has blessed me with so much - is it wrong for me to want to make
him proud of me? i'm confused to the point my faith is being tested, because
i don't understand what more allah wants me to do. he has told me to do things
and i have done them, but i still see no light. why is he being cruel, does
he enjoy me suffering?
i feel like i'm calling on him for help, and
no matter what i do, he just turns me away. everything i was brought up to
believe in feels like a lie - i'm so hurt and let down.
i don't want to feel this way - i feel that allah's
laughing at me. i don't know what advice i need from you, because it doesn't
matter what you say,
i'll still doubt allah. he has given me wealth
in place of happiness, and although i appreciate food on my table,
i hate him.
if you can't reply it's ok, i just need someone
to say allah hasn't forgotten me. i have one final thing to say to illustrate
my point - religious muslim people who are poor and have nothing to eat probably
ask allah for help - has allah honestly helped them?
thank you
Signed : please reply,
Dear "please reply",
Thanks for sharing your questions and concerns. God willing, you will find
some of my feedback helpful.
<< i'm a 21 yr old muslim female. i have been
blessed and lucky enough to be born into good wealth, and materially i have
everything a lot of people wish for. i have not forgotten to thank Allah
for his kindness. however, emotionally, i am and always have been very unhappy.
>>
You are very lucky to realize at that early age that happiness has nothing
to do with being rich or possessing all this material world. A poor man or
woman who are on good terms with God will feel happy and satisfied with the
less fortune they have than a rich person who is not on good terms with God.
Life around us proves that most of those who possess more materials in this
life are not as happy as you expect from what they got. When God is absent
in people's life, true happiness ca never be achieved. Many of the rich and
famous try to create false happiness by throwing parties, getting drunk or
use drugs and this leads them to more misery instead of happiness. Happiness
comes from submitting to God , trusting in Him, and realizing that all our
life is controlled by Him. See our file
What
is the secret of happiness in this life ?
<<i have been prevented from going to university
because i am a girl, although i do have the potential of achieving good things
in my life.>>
This is sad and hard to believe in our time, that Muslim parents would prevent
their daughter from going to University. I can assume that you discussed
this matter with them extensively. Use all your other relatives, e.g. uncles,
aunts, good friends of the family to talk on your behalf with your parents
to convince them to let you go to the University to continue your education.
The least you can do is to study for your University education at home as
many degrees can be given using courses posted on the Internet. The other
choice is to insist on talking to your future husband into allowing you to
continue your education after marriage.
<< i am currently at an age where i should be
getting married, but all the proposals i have received have not been suitable
so i said no. i am praying for the right man to come along, although i know
i'm perhaps asking for too much.>>
This is NEVER too much. You have to marry the man you will like and love.
You still need to do your part towards God, so that He sends you the right
man. I know you mentioned that God gave you so much, but how much did
you pay God back ?.
God does not need anything from us, but He specifically commanded us to follow
certain practices that show our beliefs and devotion to Him. Have you kept
your salat ? God gave you 24 hours a day but asked for about 15 minutes of
your time for Salat ?. Did you give to charity and help the poor and
needy from all the money that God gave you. Did you fast Ramadan and proved
to yourself that you have the discipline to follow God's commandment?. Did
you read God's book, the Quran to see what He is telling you to do ?. Did
you ever know why are we here in this world and the purpose behind our creation
? See our file
Why
are we here. ?
Have you complained too early before doing what you are supposed to do ?
<<the thing is, i've been having funny dreams
for the past year or so. my first one came when i was told not to go to uni.
i was distraught and i prayed to allah to give me a sign. that night i had
a dream where a voice said everything's going to be all right. i've had a
truckload of them since then, but i'm not sure what they mean. can allah
talk to people - i've already had advice from someone, and they said yes,
allah can give us signs. i can give you the details of the dreams if you
want, but they have been varied from the kind and sensitive to the
angry.>
In 42:51, God informs us of how He communicates with us "No human being can
communicate with God except through inspiration, or from behind a barrier,
or by sending a messenger through whom He reveals what He wills. He is the
Most High, Most Wise."
Dreams are a tricky subject. Most of our dreams are only a reflection of
our deepest thoughts rather being divine or of futuristic significance. We
should not make our decisions and plans depending totally on our dreams
without using our common sense and the right thinking. Remember,
dreams can be satanic as we read in the Quran about Abraham who dreamed that
he should sacrifice his son. This dream was from the devil and a test that
God allowed to see if Abraham was idolizing his son. On the other hand, we
read in chapter 12 called Joseph about how dreams can be signs for the future.
Of course, only Joseph was blessed with the ability to understand
the meaning of these dreams. For your info., God mentions in 39:42 that He
puts our souls to death at the time of sleep and resurrects us each morning.
So, do not make decisions built on your dreams alone.
<if allah's told me he'll help me why is he not
helping?>
Allah will help you. Be patient. The help you get may not be according to
what you expect. God knows what is best for you. God reminds us in the Quran
[17:11] "The human being often prays for something that may hurt him, thinking
that he is praying for something good. The human being is impatient."
[2:216] ........... you may dislike something which is good for you, and
you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know.
There is a beautiful song that I like that says "sometimes I thank God for
unanswered prayers. Remember that you are talking to the One upstairs. And
just because He may not answer doesn't mean He doesn't care. Some of God's
greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
<he has blessed with so much - is it wrong for me
to want to make him proud of me? >
Wanting God to be proud of you is an awesome goal. Everyday we should think
about the things we can do to please God. Remember GOD all the time, praise
and thank Him for the blessing He gave you, do your salat on time, give charity
and help the poor and needy, read your Quran everyday if you can and try
to understand it, not just reading it for the reading. Read it in any language
you can understand. We have the best and easiest English translation of the
Quran on our web site. See it at; "Read Quran in
a simple English
language, or other
languages" . ....etc
<<i'm confused to the point my faith is being
tested, because i don't understand what more allah wants me to do. he has
told me to do things and i have done them, but i still see no light. why
is he being cruel, does he enjoy me suffering? >>
How much of your religion have you actually practiced and did you devote
it absolutely to God ALONE ? Were you practicing the wrong Islam
(Submission) where God is not the center of your worship ? If
not, your practices were in vain. Ask yourself.
God is never cruel, He is the Most Merciful, it is us who do not follow His
path and get lost on the wrong way. God gave us the direction and how to
stay on His right (straight) path. Those who stray off this path, suffer,
not because God is making them suffer, but because they chose to go where
the suffering is. Quran teaches us that God does not enjoy our suffering,
on the contrary He gave us all the reasons to be righteous and rewarded us
ten times for each good deed while charging us only once for a non-righteous
one. He even rewarded us for up to 700 times for our good deeds according
to the Quran. He replaces our sins into good credit if we repent. How more
mercy can you ask for ?
[4:147] "What will GOD gain from punishing you, if you became appreciative
and believed? GOD is Appreciative, Omniscient."
<< i feel like i'm calling on him for help, and
no matter what i do, he just turns me away. everything i was brought up to
believe in feels like a lie - i'm so hurt and let down>
God made it simple, listen to Him, and He will listen to you. Be appreciative
of Him and He will give you more. Do not expect to stray off His path then
find Him. If that is what you feel, you need to re-assess what you thought
is your religion and practices. Probably your religion was never pure for
God alone. Probably you were on the wrong path. It is time to re-assess.
It is a very important step in your life. Use your Quran as your Guide and
you will never get lost. Ask God to be with you while searching the right
path and He will guide you.
God will not test you beyond your means(2:286). If you feel that the test
is too strong, then you need to turn to God for more help and support because
the devil is making you weak.
22:15 "If anyone thinks that God cannot support him in this life and the
Hereafter, let him turn completely to (his Creator in) heaven, and sever
(his dependence on anyone else) He will then see that this plan eliminates
anything that bothers him.
2:186 "When My servants ask you about Me, I am always near. I answer their
prayers when they pray to Me. The people shall respond to Me and believe
in Me in order to be guided."
God does not enjoy to see you suffer. The devil enjoys to see you suffer
and let's you down each time. Please try not to confuse what the devil is
doing with God's immense mercy. God wishes for you happiness and success.
However, you have to work towards it. Satan will try to discourage you by
convincing you that God's promise is not true. Trust in God and be steadfast.
God will never let you down.
<< ..... i have one final thing to say to
illustrate my point - religious muslim people who are poor and have nothing
to eat probably ask allah for help - has allah honestly helped
them?>>
God guarantees perfect happiness for those who worship Him alone. As you
should have realized by now, happiness is not measured by how much money
or food you have.. These religious muslim people may be poor but more happy
than many rich people who never got to know God. They see their suffering
as a temporary test to place them in a better place. They know that
our life on this earth is a test and a temporary abode. The real happiness
is what is coming next and will be an eternal happiness, not just for
a number of years. You must trust in God's promise. All your doubt and
frustration is the temptation of Satan and his companions. Don't give in
to it. God blesses you with so much every day. Don't let satan convince you
that God has forgotten you or that God does not care. God never forgets and
is always with you to support and guide you as long as you trust in Him and
ask for help. If you give up or doubt, then you have given in to Satan and
you should not expect support from God. That's a scary thought. God is on
your side. That's an awesome support.
Indeed, you are being tested to the very limit. Check out 33:10-12.
Hold fast to the rope of God instead of trying to hang yourself with it.
When all is said and done, your connection with God is all that matters.
Cherish this bond and strive to make it stronger.
May God grant you a powerful support,
Chancellor |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
(25)
Salaam Walakum,
About 7 months ago, I was at my all time lowest
point spiritually, I felt empty in my heart and I was very miserable, sorry
to say but I even had suicidal tendencies. It is important to know that my
unhappiness was not attributed to any financial deficiencies, I am a young
man who is Alhamdu’ lillah blessed with more than most people have at
my age. So, one evening while driving my car with my brother who is less
than two years younger than me, I was sharing my emotional thoughts with
him and ironically we both felt the same way but to different extents. During
the emotional conversation he mentioned something that was very dear to me,
he recollected on the feeling that we had when we were little children, the
feeling that is almost impossible to describe, the feeling of tranquillity
or closeness to Allah in your heart. His mentioning of this answered all
the questions that I was longing for, soon we both burst out into tears,
we realized that the emptiness was because we were slowly forgetting Allah
(swt) (unintentionally, but through the (life) dunya, that we are all so
involved in). Later we made it home, I probably cried my heart out that night
like I never have before.While I was crying very loud like a baby I was asking
Allah (swt) for his forgiveness and telling him that all I needed was him
in my heart again and I didn’t care about anything except for his intimacy
and my own peace of mind. Next morning I woke up with a headache, I felt
extremely fatigued and drained, however I had a different outlook with a
peculiar sense of serenity. Thanks and all praise to Allah (swt) my repenting
was answered, slowly as time transpired, different people were ironically
put into my life that have been very instrumental in enlightening me with
more on Islam. Honestly I did not look for these people, however when they
spoke to me about Islam I was very drawn to it, openly and sincerely. It
has been only 3 months since I first came in contact with these dear friends
and I feel stronger in my Iman (belief) than I have ever been before, in
addition, out of my own sheer joy I am reading the Holy Qur’an .
Insh’Allah I am starting to pray more often and I find it very fulfilling.
From reading your website it seems to me that you
condone any extra prayers besides the 5 mandatory contact prayers. To my
logic this doesn’t make sense because if prayer is a better medium to
contact Allah, why is it that I can’t communicate with him when I feel
I need to?
Another reason for my logic is because I understand
that Allah (swt) comes down to the lowest level of the 7 skies at night,
and it’s a very spiritual time to communicate with Allah (swt).
I would love to hear your thoughts on this email
because I have been reading your website and find it very interesting, I
share allot of your thoughts in regards to Islam and mankind’s DIRECT
relationship to Allah.
Sincerely,
Back to Islam
Dear Back to Islam,
Thank you for sharing such an emotional experience with me. For some reason,
I felt very drawn to your experience. I agree with you that all praise is
to God for guiding us and for being the Most Gracious and Most Merciful.
Regarding the extra prayer at night, please read the information at this
link
http://www.submission.org/salat/extra.html
God distinguishes between the 5 daily obligatory contact prayers (Salat)
and other forms of communication with God such as commemoration, meditation,
and other forms of prayer. You are allowed prayers (supplication) to
God any time day or night by imploring Him and asking him whatever you want,
but you can only do five contact prayers as decreed by God for
specific times of the day and night. God does encourage us to
remember Him as often as possible and to worship and glorify Him night and
day. In fact, God mentions that He gives higher ranks to those who meditate
at night. However, we can not attribute these additional forms of prayer
to the 5 contact prayers and make them mandatory. God mentions in the Quran
that He has made the religion easy for us. These main practices such as the
contact prayer are made easy for us to follow and are intended to purify
us and prepare us for the day we meet our Creator. God is aware that some
of His worshipers are eager to do more and strive for higher rank so He invites
them to do additional forms of worship in order to earn extra credit. In
sura 73 God clarifies for us that the meditation during the night involves
commemorating God and reading the Quran. You should try to communicate with
God as often as you can. God bless you for your enthusiasm and strong faith.
Your additional efforts are appreciated by God and will be rewarded, inshallah.
By the way, there is no verse in the Quran that mentions God coming down
to the lowest level of the 7 skies at night. On the contrary, God teaches
us in the Quran that He is very near to us all the time as
near as our Jugular vein in our neck, ALL THE TIME. This information
you mentioned, comes from the corrupted Hadiths books and as I showed
you it contradicts the Quran. The night is an important time for you to meditate
on God. The Quran encourages meditation at night. You should continue your
strong worship practices and build around the 5 daily contact prayers that
God invites all His worshipers to do.
God bless you,
Adam |
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Dear Adam & Chancellor,
Special Section,
(Part Two)
From this page, you can go to a special section of Dear Adam and Chancellor
that deals with some sexually oriented questions. It may not be suitable
to everyone to read. You may choose to read it in the presence of your family
members or let them check it out first for you before you read it. If you
are not allowed to read it at your age, it is not the end of the world, do
not worry about it. As we grow older we will have different problems and
questions.
We will be very careful presenting these materials and as usual we will only
use the Quran as our guide and help for all the answers.
Remember you or any of your family members or friends can write to us with
their suggestions, corrections or just to share their opinions.
To visit that section of Adam and Chancellor, please
click here. |
info@submission.org
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