By M. Siddiqui
This is a reply to a question like many others we receive on our web site.
QUESTION:<< My question
concerns the issue of homosexuality.
Please provide a Quranic spotlight on this contentious issue. Is
homosexuality normal/natural? Is it accepted in Quran? How to
deal with people who are homosexual? Can homosexuals be
submitters?>>
Homosexuality is a sin. Men and women should abstain from any practice
of Homosexuality.
Homosexuality is prohibited in Quran per the example
of the people of Lot.
The following verses will make this clear, God willing.
[7:80-81] Lot said to his people, "You commit such an abomination; no one
in the world has done it before! "You practice sex with the men,
instead of the women. Indeed, you are a transgressing people."
[26:165-166]
"Do you have sex with the males, of all the people? "You forsake
the wives that your Lord has created for you! Indeed, you are
transgressing people."
The Quran forbids any sexual relationship other than
in a marriage
between a man and a woman. Many homosexual men and women
claim that they are born with their sexual preferences and that they
have no choice. Although this point is very much in dispute in the
medical world, it has no support in the Quran. Even
then, irrespective
of the nature of homosexuality, this matter
would not affect the laws
spelled out clearly in the Quran .
We know that this
life is a test. Everyone of us has his/her own test.
For example someone may be born blind, but that person is expected
to live his/her life according to God's law. Others are born poor, short,
tall, weak, missing fingers, having big nose...etc but all of them are
expected to follow God's law. Some men or women may never marry in
their life, or spend part of their life without a spouse.
As per the Quran
they still have to live a chaste life and avoid any sexual contacts
outside a
marriage. They have to suppress their sexual feelings to follow God's law.
It is a major test and not an easy one for many. Only those who submit to
God will do everything they can to follow His law. They know that their
salvation and eternal happiness rests in doing so.
Since God condemns homosexuality, then we have to believe that a
man or a woman with homosexual feelings is expected
to behave like
any other human being and follows God's laws if
he/she truely believes in
them. He/she shall resist his/her feelings , maintains abstinence ,
use all
available resources of help including medical, social and behavioral
therapies to overcome their behavior and feelings.
They should pray to God to help them getting over it and submit to God's
law that sees homosexuality as gross sin. Only those who steadfastly
persevere in obeying God's law will they pass their test and confirm their
submission to God.
For a person who asks, "why me?" We know God is the Most
Merciful and Just (16:90) and He will give each one of us a fair
test and a fair chance. He assigns the tests to suite each one of us
and we believe that He will never burden any soul beyond its
means (23:2).
[17:89]
We have cited for the people in this Quran all kinds of examples,
but most people insist upon disbelieving.
[18:54] We have cited in this Quran every kind of example, but the human
being is the most argumentative creature.
[39:27]
We have cited for the people every kind of example in this Quran,
that they may take heed.
The spouses that God have made from among ourselves
are those that aid in
producing children. Since the spouses in homosexual relationship would not
produce children they are not the spouses God made from among
ourselves.
[16:72]
And GOD made for you spouses from among yourselves, and produced for
you from your spouses children and grandchildren, and provided you with
good provisions. Should they believe in falsehood, and turn unappreciative
of GOD's blessings?
With regard to dealing with homosexuals, the basic
rule governing this would
be 60:8 & 9.
[60:8-9]
GOD does not enjoin you from befriending those who do not fight
you because of religion, and do not evict you from your homes. You
may befriend them and be equitable towards them. GOD loves the
equitable. GOD enjoins you only from befriending those who fight
you because of religion, evict you from your homes, and band
together with others to banish you. You shall not befriend them.
Those who befriend them are the transgressors.
However, to be a winner we have to advocate righteousness
and
forbid evil.
[3:104]
Let there be a community of you who invite to what is good, advocate
righteousness, and forbid evil. These are the winners.
[3:110]
You are the best community ever raised among the people: you advocate
righteousness and forbid evil, and you believe in GOD. If the followers of
the scripture believed, it would be better for them. Some of them do believe,
but the majority of them are wicked.
[9:71]
The believing men and women are allies of one another. They advocate
righteousness and forbid evil, they observe the Contact Prayers (Salat)
and give the obligatory charity (Zakat), and they obey GOD and His
messenger. These will be showered by GOD's mercy. GOD is
Almighty, Most Wise.
Also, if God so wills, a reminder may benefit the
person.
[6:69]
The righteous are not responsible for the utterances of those people,
but it may help to remind them; perhaps they may be saved.
[87:9]
Therefore, you shall remind; perhaps the reminder will benefit.
I hope the above has been helpful, God willing. If you desire
further clarification please do not hesitate to write to us.
Second e-mail
<< Is there a way to
become straight and lead a normal life? >>
Absolutely. There are men who have lived a homosexual
life that has left that life behind and are now happily married. When those
men appear to tell their story,
they are often attacked by other men who have chosen
a homosexual life style who claims that it is impossible to first be gay
and then turn straight, and are sure that these men must be lying to themselves.
As it turns out some people living a homosexual life,
and some people supporting people living homosexual lives, simply cannot
accept and will even quite aggressively argue against the fact, that there
are men who can be confused for a while, but later get their sexuality sorted
out and return to leading a heterosexual life.
It is kind of the same phenomena that people who
decide to dedicate all their worship to God alone go through. They are constantly
approached and attacked by those who have chosen to stay behind, who wish
that they too would stay in their place and not change, not move forward
and not leave them behind, as it exposes their choice.
We all go through a purification process in this
life, as we are all born into this world with qualities to rid ourselves
of, rooted in our ego. Some go through more obvious purification than others
(and this can be a true blessing) and some less obvious, but equally as important
and serious.
To help us in this process, God has provided for
us some extremely powerful tools. One of the most important tools is the
daily Contact Prayers – Salat. Another extremely important command is
to seek refuge in God whenever Satan approaches us with a
suggestion/whisper/feeling.
[7:200]When the devil whispers to you any whisper,
seek refuge in GOD; He is Hearer, Omniscient.
There are a few verses in the Quran giving us the
formula for how to do this. I’ve listed those verses below as they are
translated into English.
[23:97]Say, "My Lord, I seek refuge in You from the whispers of the
devils.
[23:98]"And I seek refuge in You, my Lord, lest they come near
me."
[113:0]In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
[113:1]Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak.
[113:2]"From the evils among His creations.
[113:3]"From the evils of darkness as it falls.
[113:4]"From the evils of the troublemakers.
[113:5]"From the evils of the envious when they envy."
[114:0]In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
[114:1]Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of the people.
[114:2]"The King of the people.
[114:3]"The god of the people.
[114:4]"From the evils of sneaky whisperers.
[114:5]"Who whisper into the chests of the people.
[114:6]"Be they of the jinns, or the people."
<< Should i get married
to a girl as my family tells me to? Will this be fair to the girl in islamic
terms? or should come out to my family, disappoint them, and make them hate
me? >>
Ask yourself this: Would you want somebody to marry
you for the wrong reasons? God clearly tells us that there must be love and
care between a husband and a wife. These are signs from Him that two people
are meant for each other. When there is no love between two people, there
can be no marriage (30:21). Sometimes we make things more difficult for ourselves
than they need to be. We allow ourselves to accept pressure on us suggested
by other people. It is up to us to accept those suggestions, or ignore them.
You must lead your life in your own way, in your
own time. Don’t get us wrong, it is very good that you are reconsidering
your position towards choosing a homosexual life style, as this is clearly
against God’s command. The situation could however worsen if you allow
yourself to be rushed, forced or indirectly pushed into a situation which
you didn’t really want or choose for yourself. This way you are guaranteed
to become miserable and also make people around you miserable.
It sounds as if you need some time for yourself to
regain your strength, clarity, sense of direction and focus in life. You
need to figure out who you are, where you want to go in life, and how you
intend to get there. Only then can you honestly lay out your travel plans
and find a suitable companion to join you on your journey trough life.
For some people this doesn’t take long, for
others it takes much longer than people around them would like. Actually
it is nobody else’s business how long you need for this process.
I do not advice you to "come out" to your family,
especially since you are striving to reconsider your position. If you do,
your family will never look at you the same way again, even if you eventually
choose a heterosexual life – you know that. Therefore "coming out" is
placing yourself in a corner, increasing the pressure which is already taking
a serious toll on you, and making life unnecessarily difficult for yourself.
<< I really want to restore
my faith and be happy and lead a normal life.>>
Know this. Once you seek God’s kingdom over
you, everything else will fall into place. We do not possess the power to
make ourselves, our family, or anyone else happy or miserable – only
God possesses that power. His promise to us is that if we choose Him as our
Lord and Master, He will provide for all our wants and needs. He will also
provide for us the understanding of what is happening in our lives, that
we may happily accept whatever is going on around us, and willingly submitting
to the same. He is the Most Merciful, the Most Kind, the Most Just.
Once you repent and reform, ALL your past sins
will turn into credits for you. You will start anew, and face life with support
from an Almighty, Most Wise.
[25:70]Exempted are those who repent, believe, and
lead a righteous life. GOD transforms their sins into credits. GOD is Forgiver,
Most Merciful.
To stay on His path we need to nourish our souls,
that our body and its desires looses its power and control over us. We actively
do this by feeding our souls five times a day through Salat. To learn exactly
how to perform the pure Salat which will immediately start your growth, see:
http://www.submission.org/salat
We sincerely hope that our message to you can be
instrumental in helping you find your way back to the straight path. We really
want to help you with any other questions you may have about this issue.
Stay with God. You are guaranteed success, happiness and victory this way.
Peace
Reply/Reply to the second e-mail
Salamun Alaykum,
<< i still am not sure if there is a guaranteed
success in trying not to be homosexual .....>>
What we can tell you for sure is this - you are absolutely Guaranteed misery
if you do Not try not to lead a homosexual life.
An allegory: If you find yourself walking around to find a certain location,
and you come to a complete dead end, you automatically turn around and change
direction. You do this even though you do not know exactly where that turn
will lead you. This is simply the logical thing to do. Well, choosing to
turn away from transgressing God’s direct commandments to us is like
that.
<< i am willing to sacrifice everything only
if i am sure that one day i will get there >>
When we send our children to school as they start out as innocent young hopefuls
in life, should we tell them that they should only do their outmost if they
were absolutely sure that they were going to successfully graduate from
university?
Of course we wouldn’t tell them that. Because if we did we would stamp
them before they even gave themselves a chance in life, and before they even
started taking one small step at a time towards victory.
So, if we wouldn’t tell children this, why should we tell ourselves
such things. Well we shouldn’t. So I’m glad for this chance to
remind you that you can choose better for yourself. You can At Least give
yourself a chance. You deserve one. This is God’s decision about you,
based on His knowledge about you, knowledge that you yourself don’t
even have. That is why you are here on earth in the first place. Embrace
this chance, thank God for this chance, and trust Him to lead you forward.
All you need to do is to accept His invitation.
Since you are Willing to sacrifice Everything if you are guaranteed success,
then doesn't it make sense to sacrifice at lest some, even if it only allows
you half the chance for eternal success and happiness, now and in the Hereafter?
<<....and the only way i can believe in it
if i talk to a person who has been through this....if you know any such person
please direct me to him...>>
You are talking to someone who has extensive experience in this area. If
I didn’t feel confident to talk to you about these things, and didn’t
believe that my experience could be useful and helpful to you, I wouldn’t
talk to you this way.
<< There has to be a way out of this and i
am sick of living as a fake and its making me divert to alcohol and
drugs.....>>
How you feel about yourself is a choice you make. How you feel about what
is happening to you in your life is a matter of how You interpret the situation.
Are you seeing the positive or the negative? Are you seeing the obstacles
or the possibilities?
God clearly tells us in the Quran that there is gain in pain (94:5).
If you make the decision to see yourself as a person who is entitled to privacy,
and who draws the line when it comes to sharing certain thoughts and feelings,
then you might not feel as pressured, uncomfortable and frightened when
interacting with other people.
Some people live all their lives without sexual relations. Some people choose
to live in celibacy for many years to clear their mind and sharpen their
senses (I have no idea if this is true or not). I’m just telling you
this to remind you that this area of our life is very flexible, and one that
comes and goes for most people. It is also an area that should never be the
focus of any relationship we have with other people. Our sexuality is just
one aspect of us as human beings, and only one among hundreds of parts in
our interaction with other people.
<< i have anxiety attacks and depression due
to this......and i cannot bear with it anymore......please provide me with
a clear answer.....a yes or a no... and not by quoting quranic
verses....>>
Yes it is possible. You were not born with homosexual preference. Nobody
is. This is a choice you make. As long as it is a choice, it is possible
to change. It is very much within your reach, as all you need to do is talk
this through with yourself until you come to the understanding and deep
conviction inside your heart what is the right thing to do, and then decide
to do it.
You must know this. When you say "I", you are actually talking about two
entities. Your soul AND your jinn. Your jinn is all smiles as long as you
stay confused, as his only job is to work you towards transgressing God's
laws. Meanwhile your soul is suffering immensely. This suffering which you
are feeling so clearly is a strong signal to you that something is really
wrong. Your soul is suffocating and it needs its nourishment and energy.
This is the only way it can withstand your jinn, who lives inside you from
birth(it is the same for all human beings). You feed your soul by observing
the Salat prayer. This is why we strongly recommend that you start immediately
by practicing this most important commandment. Again, you find an exact
description of how to observe the PURE Salat on the following page:
http://www.submission.org/salat/
There is a prevalent misconception about observing the commandments among
Muslims. We hear all the time that people choose not to make Salat because
they do not feel worthy or pure enough to face God. This idea is completely
against God's instructions to us in the Quran. We are ALL sinners and impure,
and in desperate need to observe the commandments to enable that purification
to take place, that we may one day become worthy of standing in God's presence
again.
Thus, don't worry about any confusion you have at this time, because regardless
of where we are at in life, we NEED to feed our souls, just as much as we
need to feed our bodies every day not to die. Imagine if you see someone
who hasn't eaten for five years. Can you envision that image? Well, imagine
people that go through life NEVER feeding their real entities - their souls.
What will they look like on the Day of Judgment? This is why God teaches
us in the Quran that the guilty will be recognized by their looks immediately.
May God bless you for trying to turn your life around for the better. Most
people never bother to even take a good look at what they are doing with
their lives. Thus they live and die in oblivion. May God guide us all to
do better.
info@submission.org
