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Recall that Moses said to his people, "O my people,
you have wronged your souls by worshiping the calf. You must repent to your
Creator. You shall kill your egos. This is better for you in the sight of
your Creator." He did redeem you. He is the Redeemer, Most Merciful. (2:54)
What is this thing called "ego" which God advises us to kill? We all have
a feeling of what it is, but Western culture has confused the issue for us.
The dictionary definition of ego is almost useless, perhaps even harmful:
The thinking, feeling and acting self that is conscious of itself and aware
of its distinction from the selves of others and from the objects of its
thought and other operations.
That sounds harmless enough, doesn’t it? But is it really? Interestingly,
even the dictionary suggests the Quranic truth. The word "distinction" is
the key here. The very word implies that some are better than others, and
thus should be followed in preference to others. But the messengers are just
vehicles for God’s guidance, and it is that guidance we must follow,
not the individuals themselves. In the same way, making a distinction between
others and ourselves implies that one or the other is inherently better.
Yet we know that the only thing which distinguishes the people is righteousness:
O people, we created you from the same male and
female, and rendered you distinct peoples and tribes, that you may recognize
one another. The best among you in the sight of God is the most righteous.
God is Omniscient, Cognizant (49:13).
And even righteousness comes from God alone:
He is the source of righteousness; He is the source
of forgiveness (74:56)
Our ego directs us to make distinction among our self and others, making
us better than them in our own eyes. It is also the piece that makes us feel
that we have some power, control or influence over things. It is the piece
that gives importance to our personal opinions, to our grudges, to our desires.
The ego is that piece which got us into trouble in the first place when we
did not stand up for God’s absolute power during the heavenly feud!
It is because of it that we are going through this life—the make-up
test.
The Quran gives us examples of the result of following our egos rather than
killing them. It teaches us that it was ego that provoked Adam’s son
Cain into murdering his brother Abel (5:30). Through the example of the
governor’s wife who had tempted Joseph it teaches us that
"the self
is an advocate of vice" (12:53).
Following our ego puts us in danger of being covered by the following verse:
Are those enlightened by their Lord the same as
those whose evil works are adorned in their eyes, and they follow their own
opinions? (47:14)
Following our ego causes us to be arrogant to the extent of rejecting God’s
messengers:
...Is it not a fact that every time a messenger
went to you with anything you disliked, your ego caused you to be arrogant?
Some of them you rejected, and some of them you killed. (2:87)
Finally, we are given the example of David whose repentance was reinforced
with God’s teaching to "...rule among the people
equitably, and do not follow your personal opinion, lest it diverts you from
the way of God" (38:26).
Humility is antithesis of ego. Its importance is emphasized throughout the
scriptures. (See also 17:37 and 25:63):
"You shall not treat the people with arrogance,
nor shall you roam the earth proudly. God does not like the arrogant showoffs
"Walk humbly and lower your voice - the ugliest voice is the donkey’s
voice." (Luqmaan’s advice to his son, 31:18-19)
Man’s pride causes his humiliation, but he
who is humble of spirit obtains honor. (Proverbs 29:23)
God teaches us that the ego can become an idol and the consequences can be
detrimental for our salvation. Those who idolize their selves or egos may
be sent astray by God, despite the knowledge they acquired:
Have you seen the one whose god is his own ego?
Will you be his advocate? (25:43)
Have you noted the one whose god is his ego?
Consequently, God sends him astray, despite his knowledge, seals his hearing
and his mind, and places a veil on his eyes. Who then can guide him, after
such a decision by God? Would you not take heed? (45:23)
How do we go about killing our egos? God gives us many means of working at
this. For example, advice has been given to us to use criticism from someone
else to kill the ego. Even if it was not correct, you have used it
constructively. (Easier said than done though!) Every time we make a mistake,
then repent and try to make amends, we are killing our ego. Every time we
take ourselves to task for not being as eager to work righteousness, for
not being straightforward, for backsliding, for falling into gossip or vain
talk, we are killing our ego.
Sadly, the ego is like a hearty weed. Just when you think you have it licked,
it sprouts right back up again. We must remember that God is the only one
who really can do anything—including killing our ego. However, it is
us who must make the initial decision to improve ourselves:
...God does not change the condition of any people
unless they themselves make the decision to change... (13:11)
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