We get disappointed when we encounter what does not meet our expectations. We tend to measure things or plan for certain outcomes according to our personal standards and knowledge. We often expect others to be on our exact track of thinking, or level of awareness, which in return accentuates disagreements and increases our disappointment with them. As believers in Quran, we should always use its guidance and wisdom to get through our disappointments.
A basic step is that we need to know that feeling disappointed for whatever reason is a natural human trait. When we analyze our traits, it becomes easier to recognize our shortcomings and mistakes. We are created weak, short-sighted, and impatient. When things turn against our expectations we feel bad and lose hope.
[4:28] GOD wishes to lighten your burden, for the human being is created weak.
[21:37] The human being is impatient by nature. I will inevitably show you My signs; do not be in such a hurry.
[41:49] The human being never tires of imploring for good things. And when adversity befalls him, he turns despondent, desperate.
[70:19] Indeed, the human being is anxious.
[70:20] If touched by adversity, despondent.
A second step when we get disappointed at someone or at a certain judgment or belief would be to analyze the situation from the Quran perspective. We should evaluate the happening based on the laws of Quran and according to the moral standards set by God not by people. Quran is the perfect scale that God has blessed us with in order to determine if our disappointment has valid reasons or not.
Dwelling heedlessly on the bitter feeling of disappointment without the guidance of Quran may lead to rage, anger, resentment, or simply a deep sense of sadness. This is the negative side that Satan immediately introduces to us when he senses our deviation from the straight path.
Quran cites for us the examples of some prophets who let their human nature drive them on the path of anger and disappointment. The Most Merciful, who is fully aware of their human weaknesses, advised them so that they would not despair or take rejection to a personal level:
[7:150] When Moses returned to his people, angry and disappointed, he said, "What a terrible thing you have done in my absence! Could you not wait for the commandments of your Lord?" He threw down the tablets, and took hold of his brother's head, pulling him towards himself. (Aaron) said, "Son of my mother, the people took advantage of my weakness, and almost killed me. Let not my enemies rejoice, and do not count me with the transgressing people."
[7:151] (Moses) said, "My Lord, forgive me and my brother, and admit us into Your mercy. Of all the merciful ones, You are the Most Merciful."
[6:33] We know that you may be saddened by what they say. You should know that it is not you that they reject; it is GOD's revelations that the wicked disregard.
[11:36] Noah was inspired: "No more of your people are going to believe, beyond those who already believe. Do not be saddened by their actions.
[10:65] Do not be saddened by their utterances. All power belongs to GOD. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.
[12:110] Just when the messengers despair, and think that they had been rejected, our victory comes to them. We then save whomever we choose, while our retribution for the guilty people is unavoidable.
When believers handle disappointments in the light of Quran, they manage to keep their trust in God and they submit to His supreme plan. God, then, creates an exit or an understanding for them, and by His grace, their disappointment becomes a learning and a faith toughening experience. They reflect, practice patience, implore God, and seek His guidance. That way, they use the negative feeling they have for the benefit of their own souls.This is what makes the difference between a submitter and a non-submitter. Jacob's story and how he handled his grief and disappointment in the face of the schemes of his sons sets a beautiful example for us.
[12:17] They said, "Our father, we went racing with each other, leaving Joseph with our equipment, and the wolf devoured him. You will never believe us, even if we were telling the truth."
[12:18] They produced his shirt with fake blood on it. He said, "Indeed, you have conspired with each other to commit a certain scheme. All I can do is resort to a quiet patience. May GOD help me in the face of your conspiracy."
[12:83] He said, "Indeed, you have conspired to carry out a certain scheme. Quiet patience is my only recourse. May GOD bring them all back to me. He is the Omniscient, Most Wise."
[12:84] He turned away from them, saying, "I am grieving over Joseph." His eyes turned white from grieving so much; he was truly sad.
[12:85] They said, "By GOD, you will keep on grieving over Joseph until you become ill, or until you die."
[12:86] He said, "I simply complain to GOD about my dilemma and grief, for I know from GOD what you do not know.
[12:87] "O my sons, go fetch Joseph and his brother, and never despair of GOD's grace. None despairs of GOD's grace except the disbelieving people."
If we get disappointed because others are violating or misapplying God's clear teachings and we are in a position to take a stand, or make a choice, as submitters, we must do so in support of God's truth. We should never let negative energy slow us down or make us waver, compromise, or regress. We should put our trust in God for He is our best supporter. As for those who violate God's teachings, they are not hurting us or God. They are only wronging their own souls.
[53:39] Every human being is responsible for his own works.
[17:15] Whoever is guided, is guided for his own good, and whoever goes astray does so to his own detriment. No sinner will bear the sins of anyone else. We never punish without first sending a messenger.
We should always implore God for guidance, take the stands that are pleasing to Him alone firmly, and absolutely trust in Him. After that, the rest is in His hands, and we should never question the wisdom behind the outcome, even if it's very disappointing to us. This is the beauty of Submission and one key to peace and contentment.
[33:2] Follow what is revealed to you from your Lord. GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you all do.
[33:3] And put your trust in GOD. GOD suffices as an advocate.
Peaceful Friday, salaam and God bless.