As submitters, we often go through the dilemma of
drawing fine lines between issues or different patterns of
behavior and feelings that may be crucial to our salvation.
Following the most basic, logical rule, the
Quran is the most accurate scale and the best
source of enlightenment for deciding on these issues and
continuing on the straight path of redemption.
Grief is one of these delicate issues that is often
misunderstood. By the help of Satan who always adds
his load of misery to our lives, grief sometimes drives
us to an awful guilt path.
As defined in dictionaries, grief is a state of deep
sorrow and mental anguish that is the result of disaster
or loss. Its symptoms, briefly, are a variety of
feelings such as anxiety,
irritability, overreacting/short temper, fragility, deep
sense of disappointment, awful guilt/blame,
fear/worrying, remorse, sadness, depression, resentment,
anger and despair.
The range of symptoms varies in intensity from one
person to another based on many factors that are
basically related to the individual going through that
disaster/loss. Is he/she a submitter? How is his/her
emotional stability? How is he/she reacting to diverse
events? How is his/her level of education and general
knowledge? How is the condition of his/her social life
and surroundings? Is the loss or disaster directly or
indirectly affecting his/her lifestyle?
The objective of this reminder, God Willing, is to shed
the perfect light (the light of
Quran) on this feeling of grief in an attempt to
draw its righteous boundaries.
Based on the
Quran, grief is a normal, emotional, human
reaction. We, as humans, are physiologically created by
God Almighty, to feel and react emotionally to events
and people. There is no room in this brief reminder to
ponder over the amazing, delicate and highly complicated
human nervous system that is built within each and every
one of us precisely to enable us to feel, perceive, and
appreciate all varieties of bounties and beauties around
us. The truth of the matter is that we are very
sophisticated creatures that are emotionally capable of
relating, feeling, and reacting by the will of our
Creator. If we are created this way by the Best
Designer, there is no sense or logic in being asked to
suppress or bury our feelings, including our
grief. Please reflect on the following verses that
describe our normal emotions of joy, sadness,
contentment, fear and anxiety as normal human beings:
[53:42] To your Lord is the final
destiny.
[53:43] He is the One who
makes you laugh or cry.
[13:28] They are the ones
whose hearts rejoice in remembering GOD.
Absolutely, by remembering GOD, the hearts
rejoice.
[6:33] We know that you
may be saddened by what they say. You
should know that it is not you that they reject; it is
GOD's revelations that the wicked disregard.
The true believers
[8:2] The true believers are
those whose hearts tremble when GOD is
mentioned, and when His revelations are recited
to them, their faith is strengthened,
and they trust in their Lord.
[5:83] When they hear what was
revealed to the messenger, you see their eyes
flooding with tears as they recognize the truth
therein, and they say, "Our Lord, we have
believed, so count us among the witnesses.
[9:92] Also excused are those who
come to you wishing to be included with you, but you
tell them, "I do not have anything to carry you on."
They then turn back with tears in their eyes,
genuinely saddened that they could not
afford to contribute.
[10:57] O people, enlightenment
has come to you herein from your Lord, and
healing for anything that troubles your hearts,
and guidance, and mercy for the believers.
[42:14] Ironically,
they broke up into sects only after the knowledge had
come to them, due to jealousy and
resentment among themselves. If it were not
for a predetermined decision from your Lord to respite
them for a definite interim, they would have been judged
immediately. Indeed, the later generations who inherited
the scripture are full of doubts.
[30:21] Among His proofs is that
He created for you spouses from among yourselves,
in order to have tranquility and
contentment with each other, and He placed in your
hearts love and care towards your spouses.
In this, there are sufficient proofs for people
who think.
[11:36] Noah was inspired: "No
more of your people are going to believe, beyond those
who already believe. Do not be saddened
by their actions.
[27:70] Do not grieve
over them, and do not be annoyed
by their scheming.
[9:15] He will also
remove the rage from the believers' hearts.
GOD redeems whomever He wills. GOD is Omniscient, Most
Wise.
The question is, at what stage or under which
circumstances is grief a destructive Satanic force? By
a quick and hasty analysis of the
Quran, one can easily get the false impression
that grief is an emotion linked with weak faith, or that
if we experience grief, we are disbelievers, because
true believers should not go through any grief! Some
verses such as the following ones can easily be taken
out of context to serve these misleading ideas:
Unity of all submitters
[2:62] Surely, those who believe,
those who are Jewish, the Christians, and the converts;
anyone who (1) believes in GOD, and (2) believes in the
Last Day, and (3) leads a righteous life, will receive
their recompense from their Lord. They have
nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
Submission: The Only Religion
[2:112] Indeed, those
who submit themselves absolutely to GOD alone, while
leading a righteous life, will receive
their recompense from their Lord; they
have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.*
Minimum Requirements For Salvation
[5:69] Surely, those who believe,
those who are Jewish, the converts, and the Christians;
any of them who (1) believe in GOD and
(2) believe in the Last Day, and
(3) lead a righteous life, have
nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
[2:277] Those who believe and
lead a righteous life, and observe the Contact Prayers (Salat),
and give the obligatory charity (Zakat), they receive
their recompense from their Lord; they will have
nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
Happiness: Now and Forever*
[10:62] Absolutely, GOD's
allies have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
[39:61] And GOD will save those
who have maintained righteousness; He will reward them.
No harm will touch them, nor will they have any
grief.
[2:38] We said, "Go down
therefrom, all of you. When guidance comes to you from
Me, those who follow My guidance will have no
fear, nor will they grieve.
Role of the Messengers
[6:48] We do not send the
messengers except as deliverers of good news, as well as
warners. Those who believe and reform have
nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
Perfect Happiness: Now and Forever
[41:30] Those who
proclaim: "Our Lord is GOD," then lead a
righteous life, the angels descend upon them:
"You shall have no fear, nor shall you grieve.
Rejoice in the good news that Paradise has been reserved
for you.
Profound Fact*
[57:22] Anything that happens
on earth, or to you, has already been recorded, even
before the creation. This is easy for GOD to do.
[57:23] Thus, you
should not grieve over anything you miss,
nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you.
GOD does not love those who are boastful, proud.
...and many more beautiful verses that inspire believers
to hold fast to the rope of God in order to attain peace
and contentment. In these verses, God is not asking the
believers to stop their grief while going through
adversity. There is no on/off switch for believers
to use and be rid of their grief!! There is no way the
Most Merciful would burden us with something we cannot
afford or that is against our nature. These verses are
not in any way considered commands to uphold or
characters of true believers. They are simply offering
God's sympathy and comfort for the believers who are
passing through the tough course of grief. The above
verses and so many similar ones are simply God's
gracious and psychological techniques to ease the
process of grief by reminding us that we should rejoice
in the fact that Him and the angels are constantly
looking after the truthful and righteous, and that
victory eventually belongs to the believers (13:11 and
[3:139] You shall not waver, nor shall you
grieve, for you are the ultimate victors, if you are
believers. )
To all of us who are grieving over a loss or even
struggling out of fear or shame to express/share
their pain and true feelings over a loss or any
disappointing situation, to all of us, submitters
and believers in God alone: grief with its wide
range of troubling symptoms is a normal emotional
process that God is fully aware we will always
experience. Strong and true believers can and will
always normally grieve. There is no such thing as a
believer who is immune to grief. Please examine the
history of these role models:
Jacob:
[12:83] He said, "Indeed, you
have conspired to carry out a certain scheme.
Quiet patience is my only recourse. May GOD
bring them all back to me. He is the Omniscient,
Most Wise."
[12:84] He turned away from
them, saying, "I am grieving over Joseph."
His eyes turned white from grieving so much;
he was truly sad.
[12:85] They said, "By
GOD, you will keep on grieving over Joseph until you
become ill, or until you die."
[12:86] He said, "I
simply complain to GOD about my dilemma and grief,
for I know from GOD what you do not know.
[12:87] "O my sons, go fetch
Joseph and his brother, and never despair of
GOD's grace. None despairs of GOD's
grace except the disbelieving people."
Moses' mother:
[28:7] We inspired Moses'
mother: "Nurse him, and when you fear for his life,
throw him into the river without fear or
grief. We will return him to you, and will
make him one of the messengers."
[28:10] The mind of Moses'
mother was growing so anxious that
she almost gave away his identity. But we
strengthened her heart, to make her a believer.
[28:11] She said to his
sister, "Trace his path." She watched him from afar,
while they did not perceive.
[28:12] We forbade him from
accepting all the nursing mothers. (His sister) then
said, "I can show you a family that can raise him
for you, and take good care of him."
[28:13] Thus, we
restored him to his mother, in order to please her,
remove her worries, and to let her know that GOD's
promise is the truth. However, most of them
do not know.
Muhammad:
[9:40] If you fail to support
him (the messenger), GOD has already supported him.
Thus, when the disbelievers chased him, and he was
one of two in the cave, he said to his friend, "Do
not worry; GOD is with us." GOD
then sent down contentment and security upon him,
and supported him with invisible soldiers. He made
the word of the disbelievers lowly. GOD's
word reigns supreme. GOD is Almighty, Most Wise.
Zachariah:
[19:4] He said, "My Lord, the
bones have turned brittle in my body, and my hair is
aflame with gray. As I implore You, my Lord,
I never despair.
[19:5] "I worry about
my dependants after me, and my wife has been
sterile. Grant me, from You, an heir.
[19:6] "Let him be my heir
and the heir of Jacob's clan, and make him, my Lord,
acceptable."
Moses and Aaron : fear, anxiety, and short
temper
[20:77] We inspired Moses:
"Lead My servants out, and strike for them a dry
road across the sea. You shall not fear that
you may get caught, nor shall you worry."
[20:24] "Go to Pharaoh, for
he has transgressed."
[20:25] He said, "My Lord,
cool my temper.
[20:26] "And make
this matter easy for me.
[20:27] "And untie a
knot from my tongue.
[20:28] "So they can
understand my speech.
[20:29] "And appoint
an assistant for me from my family.
[20:30] "My brother Aaron.
[20:31] "Strengthen
me with him.
[20:32] "Let him be
my partner in this matter.
[20:33] "That we may glorify
You frequently.
[20:34] "And commemorate You
frequently.
[20:41] "I have made you just
for Me.
[20:42] "Go with your
brother, supported by My signs, and do not waver in
remembering Me.
[20:45] They said, "Our
Lord, we fear lest he may attack us, or transgress."
[20:46] He said, "Do
not be afraid, for I will be with you, listening and
watching.
[20:92] (Moses) said, "O
Aaron, what is it that prevented you, when you saw
them go astray,
[20:93] "from following my
orders? Have you rebelled against me?"
[20:94] He said, "O
son of my mother; do not pull me by my beard and my
head. I was afraid that you might
say, `You have divided the Children of
Israel, and disobeyed my orders.' "
Examining the above great examples leaves us with some
crucial questions that should help us draw fine lines
and righteous boundaries of this normal process: Can we
be peaceful and content while grieving? Should we
wonder how long we are going to grieve? Does grief
interfere with the process of purifying our souls? When
exactly does grief transform into a negative force that
can hurt our souls and classify us as disbelievers?
When grief grows wild into the feelings of irreversible
despair, anger and objection to the will of God - this,
with no doubt, is the negative side introduced by Satan,
who is always on stand-by to creep into our moments of
weakness and confusion. For sure, we are created weak
(4:28), shortsighted, impatient (17:11) and anxious
(17:92). God is fully aware of all of this, and it is
the knowledge, the steadfastness (3:186) , the patience
(20:130) and the worship ( 2:153, 17:22, ) that keep us
within the righteous confinement of grief. A believer
and worshiper of God alone can continue nourishing
his/her soul patiently, peacefully and joyfully while
grieving for as long as God wills. That is the
difference between a true believer and a despondent
angry objector to the will of God (17:83).
[4:28] GOD wishes to lighten your
burden, for the human being is created weak.
[17:11] The human being
often prays for something that may hurt him, thinking
that he is praying for something good.
The human being is impatient.
[17:83] When we bless the human
being, he becomes preoccupied and heedless.
But when adversity strikes him, he turns despondent.
[70:19] Indeed, the human being
is anxious.
[70:20] If touched by adversity,
despondent.
[70:21] If blessed by wealth,
stingy.
[70:22] Except for the
worshipers.
We will experience grief, but while grieving, true
believers hold fast to the rope of guidance, and
continue worshipping and rejoicing in the fact that
God and His angels
(41:30,13:11) are always on the side of those who
don't despair or lose their absolute trust in Him
alone:
[20:130] Therefore, be
patient in the face of their utterances,
and praise and glorify your Lord
before sunrise and before sunset. And during the night
glorify Him, as well as at both ends of the day,
that you may be happy.
[16:127] You shall resort
to patience - and your patience is
attainable only with GOD's help....
[2:153] O you who believe,
seek help through steadfastness and the
Contact Prayers (Salat). GOD is with those who
steadfastly persevere.
[47:7] O you who believe,
if you support GOD, He will support you, and
strengthen your foothold.
[14:27] GOD
strengthens those who believe with the proven word,
in this life and in the Hereafter. And
GOD sends the transgressors astray. Everything is in
accordance with GOD's will.
[41:30] Those who
proclaim: "Our Lord is GOD," then
lead a righteous life, the angels descend upon them:
"You shall have no fear, nor shall you grieve.
Rejoice in the good news that Paradise has been
reserved for you.
[41:31] "We are your allies
in this life, and
in the Hereafter. You will have in it
anything you wish for; you will have anything you
want.
[41:32] "(Such is your)
ultimate abode, from a Forgiver, Most Merciful."
Peaceful Friday, salaam and God bless you.
