We gather from the Quran that EGO is the one
disastrous idol that believers must fight
and defeat (2:54). It seems that in most of
the time ego is the foundation for idolizing
entities beside God (2:87, 45:23-27). Our
ego provides us with justifications to
idolize our opinions, get more attached to
our culture, cherish our parents' religion,
hesitate to properly choose, reject the
guidance, refuse to increase our knowledge,
compromise, and so on. In other words, Satan
and his allies from among the humans and the
jinns mainly rely on our egos to win their
arguments and carry out their plan - make us
sink in idol-worship, the unforgivable sin
(4:116).
This reminder is only an attempt to
understand what ego is, and why sometimes we
confuse ego with other constructive and
positive attributes such as high self
esteem, certainty, or being blessed with a
leadership or authoritative qualities. Does
humility contradict or interfere with having
high levels of any of these three values?
We often mix up an arrogant individual with
another of a high self esteem. We consider
those who are assertive in their views as
arrogant ones. We also perceive those who
God allows them to be in positions of
authority or leadership as people
with inflated egos. All three perceptions
when not backed up with knowledge, guidance,
and fair analysis, lead us to unjustly draw
wrong conclusion, and cheat our souls by
passing crippled judgments on others. Self
esteem, certainty, and leadership qualities
are three different characteristics and
they are totally distinct from ego.
Let's start with the ego and what ego brings
to our character. Ego
is one sign of weakness and hesitance, and a
negative attribute. Depending on how much
ego is able to grow within us we start,
arrogantly, to think that we are BETTER
than every body else. We give
ourselves a very distinct status or rank
that is totally DIFFERENT
from and HIGHER than the
others around us. In other words, it is a
negative, exaggerated feeling of
false superiority,
undeserved pride, and
baseless or out of place self recognition.
A person with an ego would seek the
attention, need the fame, be thirsty to
brag, talk much and do little, and demand
the respect instead of earning it.. This
attitude serves as a SHIELD
from listening or paying attention to
anything but ourselves. Consequently, we
fail to learn or become certain ; our ego
reflects insecurity, fear, uncertainty, and
weakness.
The Ego as a god
[25:43] Have you seen
the one whose god is his own ego? Will you
be his advocate?
[25:44] Do
you think that most of them hear, or
understand? They are just like
animals; no, they are far worse.
Common Form of Idolatry: The Ego As
A god
[45:23] Have you
noted the one whose god is his ego?
Consequently, GOD sends him
astray, despite his knowledge, seals
his hearing and his mind, and places a
veil on his eyes. Who then can
guide him, after such a decision by GOD?
Would you not take heed?
An example of an entity that has a huge ego
would be Satan. He arrogantly refused to
obey God and prostrate in front of Adam,
because he though he is far BETTER
than Adam:
[7:11] We created
you, then we shaped you, then we said to the
angels, "Fall prostrate before Adam." They
fell prostrate, except Iblees (Satan); he
was not with the prostrators.
The Test Begins
[7:12] He said, "What
prevented you from prostrating when I
ordered you?" He said, "I am better than
he; You created me from fire,
and created him from mud."
[7:13] He said,
"Therefore, you must go down, for
you are not to be arrogant here.
Get out; you are debased."
Another example would be all the
disbelievers and the hypocrites on earth who
simply turn away from the guidance because
they think they are far better than the
guided ones, and far above the prophets and
messengers who deliver God's message. Out of
arrogance and ignorance, they wouldn't let
go of their opinions and traditions:
Appearances May Be Deceiving
[2:204] Among the
people, one may impress you
with his utterances concerning this life,
and may even call upon GOD to witness his
innermost thoughts, while he is a most
ardent opponent.
[2:205] As
soon as he leaves, he roams the
earth corruptingly, destroying properties
and lives. GOD does not love corruption.
[2:206]
When he is told, "Observe GOD," he becomes
arrogantly indignant.
Consequently, his only destiny is Hell; what
a miserable abode.
[45:7] Woe to every
fabricator, guilty.*
[45:8] The one who
hears GOD's revelations recited to him,
then insists arrogantly
on his way, as if he never heard them.
Promise him a painful retribution.
[84:10] As for the
one who receives his record behind his back,
[84:11] He will be
ridden with remorse. [84:12] And will burn
in Hell.
[84:13] He
used to act arrogantly among his people.
[84:14] He
thought that he will never be called to
account.
On the other hand, high self esteem is a
positive attribute. It is the blessing of
being TRUTHFULLY AWARE of
who we are. It is related to the level of RESPECT
and COMFORT we
have for our own selves, how much we are
PASSIONATE about our
souls, how much BELIEF
and TRUST
we put in ourselves, and how much we
APPRECIATE all what is about
us and within us - our personality,
upbringing, morals and integrity, beliefs,
ideologies, family, culture, education,
experience in any aspect of life, etc..
Self esteem gets developed from the scratch
in our character after we are born and it
can be enhanced or, unfortunately, gets
destroyed. This depends on our surroundings
and on the strength of our will.
A good example of a prophet with a good
level of self esteem would be prophet
Joseph. He asked the king of Egypt to be the
chief of the ministry of finance (the
highest position in that ministry) and said
" I'm good at that, or I'm qualified for
that." He was aware of his area of strength,
he was content and confident about that, he
acknowledged his ability, and he expressed
his respect to himself in that regard, BUT
he never claimed that he is better or far
above every one else in that area:
Joseph Attains Prominence
[12:54] The king
said, "Bring him to me, so I can hire
him to work for me." When he talked with
him, he said, "Today, you have a
prominent position with us."
[12:55] He said,
"Make me the treasurer, for I
am experienced in this area and
knowledgeable."
[12:56] We thus
established Joseph on earth, ruling as
he wished. We shower our mercy upon
whomever we will, and we never fail to
recompense the righteous.
Certainty or being assertive is another
quality when based on physical facts,
verifiable information, knowledge, and
logically balanced arguments. The tone of
this kind of certainty is always
intimidating for those who are weak in
knowledge and character. They often find
their comfort zone and balance by weakly
adhering to their own views, attacking the
voice of certainty, and bringing down any
introduced good logic, or proven knowledge.
Out of arrogance and ignorance, they resist
to absorb information, use their brains, or
add to their rusty and rigid memories. God
commands us to not be intimidated by such
people:
A Common Occurrence
[22:8] Among
the people there is the one who argues about
GOD without knowledge,
and without guidance,
and without an enlightening
scripture.
[22:9]
Arrogantly he strives to divert the people
from the path of GOD. He thus
incurs humiliation in this life, and we
commit him on the Day of Resurrection to the
agony of burning.
[30:60] Therefore,
you shall steadfastly persevere - for GOD's
promise is the truth - and do not
be intimidated by those who have not
attained certainty.
Positive leadership in any
aspect or task in life, in most of the
times, is indicative of
integrity, psychological health, self
confidence, clear and organized mind, good
vision, scientific and logical mentality,
knowledge and education, team work
abilities, ability to listen, learn, and
grow in order to be creative. All these
positive qualities, combined together,
would partake in the personality of
an authoritative and successful leader, and
would not considered a suitable media for
the growth of ego. Out of arrogance,
ignorance, and hypocrisy, those who are weak
in character simply hate to see a
healthy model like that.
A good example that indicates there is no
contradiction between being righteous
worshipers and authoritative leaders would
be Abraham and some of his descendants. The
hypocrites, of course, set the worst
example of those who would not appreciate
such a quality:
[4:54] Are
they envious of the people because GOD has
showered them with His blessings?
We have given Abraham's family
the scripture, and wisdom; we
granted them a great authority.
[38:45]
Remember also our servants Abraham, Isaac,
and Jacob. They were
resourceful, and possessed vision.
[21:72] And we
granted him Isaac and Jacob as a gift, and
we made them both righteous.
[21:73] We
made them imams who guided in accordance
with our commandments, and we taught them
how to work righteousness, and how to
observe the Contact Prayers (Salat) and the
obligatory charity (Zakat).* To us, they
were devoted worshipers.
Do Not Befriend Hypocrites
[3:118] O you who
believe, do not befriend outsiders who never
cease to wish you harm; they even wish to
see you suffer. Hatred flows out
of their mouths and what they hide in their
chests is far worse. We thus
clarify the revelations for you, if you
understand.
[3:119] Here you are
loving them, while they do not love you, and
you believe in all the scripture. When they
meet you they say, "We believe," but as soon
as they leave, they bite their
fingers out of rage towards you.
Say, "Die in your rage."
GOD is fully aware of the innermost
thoughts.
[3:120]
When anything good comes your way they hurt,
and when something bad happens to you they
rejoice. If you steadfastly
persevere, and maintain righteousness, their
schemes will never hurt you. GOD is fully
aware of everything they do.
Based on the above, a person who is blessed
with a reasonable amount of self esteem,
doesn't need to exaggerate or inflate
his/her self respect. A person with a good
self esteem doesn't demand the attention of
everyone around, doesn't believe in his/her
superiority, but simply is confident,
secure, comfortable, and content with who
he/she is. In fact, this attitude brings
humility and automatically antagonizes our
egos. A person who is assertive based on
true knowledge and proofs simply is not in
any need to rise above the group. The
presented verifiable views will score so
high against falsehood, without an effort to
claim superiority. Ego has no place, again,
in this equation as knowledge and certainty
cannot be attained if the ego is active
within us. A righteous and healthy
leadership cannot continue to grow on a
successful path if shielded with arrogance.
This deprived the leader from listening,
seeing, or feeling the needs of others.
Conclusion:
- Neither one of these three positive
attributes would complement or truly coexist
with a wild ego. Once our egos are inflated,
we are doubtful and insecure ; our self
esteem goes down, we cannot attain
knowledge or certainty, and we lose our
authority and the respect of those around
us.
- As believers it is always a plus to be
self confident, and it is highly recommended
to always try to seek all the means
to enhance our self esteem. With the inner
beauty a good self esteem brings, we can set
a righteous example and promote the truth
God has blessed us with in a positive
attitude. When we are confident and
passionate about who we are, this gets
reflected in everything we say and do. When
we exhibit self respect, others respect us
and become more receptive to whatever we
preach. It is absolutely OK to acknowledge,
respect, and cherish who we are. It is not a
negative attribute to be certain based on
knowledge not conjecture, and it is a
blessing from God almighty to be granted all
the qualities of leadership in order to
establish God's laws.
- It is a sickness and a formula of self
destruction to lose the balance and cross
the lines to the point that would allow our
egos to show in the picture and reverse
these positive attributes.
- Being humble goes hand in hand with self
esteem, certainty, or righteous leadership.
In fact, humility is the positive strength
and the beauty we gain from all three. As
widely misunderstood, humility is not
attainable by staying quiet, talking less,
being selfish, passive, and stingy with our
knowledge but rather by kindly utilizing our
healthy energy and characters to live
for and serve others and to strive in making
a difference.
