We often get
disappointed when certain actions, moral behavior, or
events in our life don’t meet expectations. We sometimes
measure things or plan for certain outcomes according to
our personal standards and knowledge. We even tend to
expect others in our lives to be on the same exact track
of thinking, or level of guidance, which in return
accentuates our criticizing attitude and increases the
severity of our disappointment with them. As believers
in the Quran, we should always use its guidance
and wisdom to get through our disappointments in life.
A basic step is that we
need to know that feeling disappointed for whatever
reason is a natural human trait. When we study and
analyze our traits, it becomes easier to recognize our
shortcomings and mistakes. We are created weak,
short-sighted, and impatient. When things turn against
our expectations we lose hope. .
[4:28] GOD wishes to lighten your
burden, for the human being is created weak.
[21:37] The human being
is impatient by nature. I will inevitably
show you My signs; do not be in such a hurry.
[17:11] The human being
often prays for something that may hurt him, thinking
that he is praying for something good. The
human being is impatient.
[4:19] If you dislike
them, you may dislike something wherein GOD has placed a
lot of good.
[41:49] The human being never
tires of imploring for good things. And when
adversity befalls him, he turns despondent, desperate.
[11:9] Whenever we bless the
human being with mercy from us, then remove it,
he turns despondent, unappreciative.
[70:19] Indeed, the human
being is anxious.
[70:20] If touched by
adversity, despondent.
As submitters to God
alone, when we get disappointed at someone or dislike
something that happened to us, we need to always analyze
the situation from the Quranic perspective. We should
evaluate whatever is happening to us based on the laws
detailed for us in the Quran and according to its moral
standards. This is the perfect scale that God has
blessed us with in order to determine if our
disappointment has valid reasons or not.
Dwelling heedlessly on
this bitter feeling of disappointment, without the
guidance of the Quran, may lead to rage, anger,
resentment, or simply a deep sense of sadness. This is
the negative side that Satan immediately introduces to
us when he senses our deviation from the straight path.
The Quran cites for us
the examples of some prophets who let their human nature
drive them on the path of anger and disappointment. The
Most Merciful, who is fully aware of their human
weaknesses, advised them so that they would not despair
or take their rejection to a personal level:
[7:150] When Moses returned to his
people, angry and disappointed,
he said, "What a terrible thing you have done in
my absence! Could you not wait for the commandments of
your Lord?" He threw down the tablets, and took hold of
his brother's head, pulling him towards himself.
(Aaron) said, "Son of my mother, the people
took advantage of my weakness, and almost killed me. Let
not my enemies rejoice, and do not count me with the
transgressing people."
[7:151] (Moses) said, "My Lord,
forgive me and my brother, and admit us into Your mercy.
Of all the merciful ones, You are the Most Merciful."
[6:33] We know that you
may be saddened by what they say. You should know
that it is not you that they reject; it is GOD's
revelations that the wicked disregard.
[11:36] Noah was inspired: "No
more of your people are going to believe, beyond those
who already believe. Do not be saddened by
their actions.
[10:65] Do not be
saddened by their utterances. All power
belongs to GOD. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.
[12:110] Just when the
messengers despair, and think
that they had been rejected,
our victory comes to them. We then save
whomever we choose, while our retribution for the guilty
people is unavoidable.
When believers handle
this feeling in the light of the Quran, they never lose
their trust in God and they submit to His supreme plan.
When they turn the matter to God and His scripture, God
creates an exit or an understanding for their hurt
feelings, and by His grace, their disappointment becomes
a learning experience as well as a way to toughen their
faith, driving them closer to their Creator. They use
the negative feeling they have for the benefit of their
own souls. They reflect, practice patience, implore God,
and seek His forgiveness. They never question God's
wisdom.
The way we handle this
emotional turmoil is a test for us. It's what makes the
difference between a submitter and
a non-submitter. Jacob's story of how he handled his
grief and disappointment in the face of the schemes of
his sons sets a beautiful example for us.
[12:17] They said, "Our father,
we went racing with each other, leaving Joseph with our
equipment, and the wolf devoured him. You will never
believe us, even if we were telling the truth."
[12:18] They produced his shirt
with fake blood on it. He said, "Indeed, you
have conspired with each other to commit a certain
scheme. All I can do is resort
to a quiet patience. May GOD
help me in the face of your conspiracy."
[12:83] He said,
"Indeed, you have conspired to carry out a certain
scheme. Quiet patience is my only recourse.
May GOD bring them all back to me. He is the Omniscient,
Most Wise."
[12:84] He turned away from them,
saying, "I am grieving over Joseph."
His eyes turned white from grieving so much; he
was truly sad.
[12:85] They said, "By GOD, you
will keep on grieving over Joseph until you become ill,
or until you die."
[12:86] He said, "I
simply complain to GOD about my dilemma and grief, for I
know from GOD what you do not know.
[12:87] "O my sons, go fetch
Joseph and his brother, and never despair of
GOD's grace. None despairs of
GOD's grace except the disbelieving people."
If we get disappointed
because others are violating any of God's clear
teachings and we are in a position to take a stand, and
make a choice, as submitters we should reflect on the
Quran, take the necessary firm stand towards God's
truth, and carry out His commands. We should never let
negative energy slow us down or make us waver,
compromise, or regress. We should put our trust in God
for He is our best supporter. We all know from the Quran
that those who violate God's teachings are not hurting
us or God, but are rather wronging their own souls.
[53:39] Every human being
is responsible for his own works.
[17:15] Whoever is
guided, is guided for his own good, and whoever goes
astray does so to his own detriment. No sinner will bear
the sins of anyone else. We never punish without first
sending a messenger.
We should always
implore God for guidance, take the stands that are
pleasing to Him alone firmly, and absolutely trust in
Him. After all that, the rest is in His hands, and
we should never question the wisdom behind the outcome,
even if it's very disappointing to us. This is the
beauty of Submission and the key to our peace and
contentment.
[33:2] Follow what is
revealed to you from your Lord. GOD is fully Cognizant
of everything you all do.
[33:3] And put your trust
in GOD. GOD suffices as an advocate.
[3:159] ... Once you
make a decision, carry out your
plan, and trust in GOD. GOD loves those who trust in
Him.*
[21:23] He is never to be
asked about anything He does, while all others are
questioned.
Peaceful
Friday, salaam and God bless you.
