One of the many commandments throughout the Quran is to
choose our friends carefully. According to the
Merriam-Webster dictionary, a friend is defined as:
1 a : one attached to another by
affection or esteem b :
acquaintance; 2 a
: one that is not hostile b : one
that is of the same nation, party, or group. A friend
is someone that a lot of time is often spent with, thus
making friends a significant part of one's life. Because
of this, God repeatedly advises us of the people we
should choose as our friends.
Choose Your Friends Carefully
[3:28] The believers
never ally themselves with the disbelievers,
instead of the believers. Whoever does this is
exiled from GOD. Exempted are those who are
forced to do this to avoid persecution. GOD alerts you
that you shall reverence Him alone. To GOD is the
ultimate destiny.
This verse indicates that choosing to befriend a
disbeliever instead of a believer is looked down upon by
God, so much so that we would be EXILED
from Him. Therefore, it is very important to befriend
people whom God would approve of. God tells us that we
should not befriend certain Jews and Christians.
Certain Jews and Christians Cannot Be Friends*
[5:51] O you who believe, do not
take certain Jews and Christians as allies; these are
allies of one another. Those among you who ally
themselves with these belong with them. GOD does not
guide the transgressors.
Which Jews and Christians
[5:57] O you who believe, do not
befriend those among the recipients of previous
scripture who mock and ridicule your religion,
nor shall you befriend the disbelievers.
You shall reverence GOD, if you are really believers.
Jews and Christians who make fun of our religion should
never be friends of the believers. God also prohibits
befriending hypocrites, idol worshipers, and those who
persecute us because of our religion.
Do Not Befriend Hypocrites
[3:118] O you who believe,
do not befriend outsiders who never cease to
wish you harm; they even wish to see you suffer.
Hatred flows out of their mouths and what they hide in
their chests is far worse. We thus clarify the
revelations for you, if you understand.
A Statement of Fact
[5:82] You will find that the
worst enemies of the believers are the Jews and
the idol worshipers. And you will find that the
closest people in friendship to the believers are those
who say, "We are Christian." This is because they have
priests and monks among them, and they are not arrogant.
[60:1] O you who believe,
you shall not befriend My enemies and your enemies,
extending love and friendship to them, even though they
have disbelieved in the truth that has come to you.
They persecute the messenger, and you, just because you
believe in GOD, your Lord. If you mobilize to struggle
in My cause, seeking My blessings, how can you secretly
love them? I am fully aware of everything you conceal,
and everything you declare. Those among you who do this
have indeed strayed off the right path.
God forbids us from befriending anyone who fights us
because we are believers. God even says that if members
of our family fight us because of our religion, we
should not ally ourselves with them.
Run For Your Life
[58:22] You will not find
people who believe in GOD and the Last Day befriending
those who oppose GOD and His messenger, even if they
were their parents, or their children, or their
siblings, or their tribe. For these, He decrees
faith into their hearts, and supports them with
inspiration from Him, and admits them into gardens with
flowing streams wherein they abide forever. GOD is
pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. These
are the party of GOD. Most assuredly, GOD's party are
the winners.
Basic Law Regulating Relations With Unbelievers
[60:8] GOD does not enjoin you
from befriending those who do not fight you because of
religion, and do not evict you from your homes. You may
befriend them and be equitable towards them. GOD loves
the equitable.
[60:9] GOD enjoins you
only from befriending those who fight you because of
religion, evict you from your homes, and band together
with others to banish you. You shall not befriend them.
Those who befriend them are the transgressors.
All of these commandments from God are given to guide us
and protect us. He knows what is best for us, and thus
advises us in that direction. Befriending disbelievers
and/or idol worshipers would very likely distract us
from God and lead us to the path of Hell. Our focus in
this life should always be towards worshiping God and
joining His kingdom in the Hereafter. Anyone who
believes otherwise should not be our ally.
Choose Your Friends Carefully
[53:29] You shall
disregard those who turn away from our message, and
become preoccupied with this worldly life.
[6:106] Follow what is
revealed to you from your Lord, there is no god except
He, and disregard the idol worshipers.
The Dwellers of Heaven Visit the Dwellers of
Hell
[37:50] They will come to each
other, and confer with one another.
[37:51] One of them will
say, "I used to have a friend.
[37:52] "He used to mock:
`Do you believe all this?
[37:53] " `After we die and turn
into dust and bones, do we get called to account?' "
[37:54] He will say, "Just take a
look!"
[37:55] When he looks, he
will see his friend in the heart of Hell.*
[37:56] He (will go to him and)
say, "By GOD, you almost ruined me.
[37:57] "If it were not
for my Lord's blessing, I would have been with you now.
[37:58] "(Do you still
believe) that we die,
[37:59] "only the first
death, and we never receive any requital?"
[37:60] Such is the
greatest triumph.
Spending time with disbelievers could slowly have a bad
influence on us without us even realizing it. Their
behavior and actions are represented by Satan, and our
alliance with them could take us under Satan's spell.
For example, spending time with people who use bad
language, gamble, party a lot, drink alcohol, or do
other unrighteous works could eventually lead us to do
the same. In fact, God tells us that some people try
to mingle with the believers just to divide them and
to persuade them to become disbelievers.
How to Deal With the Hypocrites
[4:88] Why should you
divide yourselves into two groups regarding hypocrites
(among you)? GOD is the one who condemned them
because of their own behavior. Do you
want to guide those who are sent astray by GOD?
Whomever GOD sends astray, you can never find a
way to guide them.
[4:89] They wish that you
disbelieve as they have disbelieved, then you become
equal. Do not consider them friends,
unless they mobilize along with you in the cause of GOD.
If they turn against you, you shall fight them,
and you may kill them when you encounter them in war.
You shall not accept them as friends, or allies.*
Not only we are advised by God to disregard the idol
worshipers, but also it is strictly prohibited to
worship at the same masjids as them. We should never
pray with those who oppose God and His messenger.
Masjids that Oppose God and His Messenger*
[9:107] There are those who abuse
the masjid by practicing idol worship, dividing
the believers, and providing comfort to
those who oppose GOD and His messenger.
They solemnly swear: "Our intentions are honorable!" GOD
bears witness that they are liars.
Do Not Pray in Those Masjids
[9:108] You shall never
pray in such a masjid. A masjid that is
established on the basis of righteousness from the first
day is more worthy of your praying therein. In it, there
are people who love to be purified. GOD loves those who
purify themselves.
Also, a spouse is a lifetime ally. God specifies that
marriage to idol worshipers is forbidden. Believers
should marry other believers, and God says this will
guide us to heaven as our destiny.
Do Not Marry Idol Worshipers
[2:221] Do not marry idolatresses
unless they believe; a
believing woman is better than an idolatress,
even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters
in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe.
A believing man is better than an idolater,
even if you like him. These invite to Hell,
while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness,
as He wills. He clarifies His
revelations for the people, that they may take heed.
Spending time with believers will help keep us on the
straight path, and believers encourage each other to do
righteous works. God advises us to be with the
believers as much as possible:
Quranic Study Groups
[18:28] You shall force
yourself to be with those who worship their Lord day and
night, seeking Him alone. Do not turn your eyes
away from them, seeking the vanities of this world. Nor
shall you obey one whose heart we rendered oblivious to
our message; one who pursues his own desires, and whose
priorities are confused.
Submitters
[41:33] Who can utter
better words than one who invites to GOD, works
righteousness, and says, "I am one of the submitters"?
We must always remember that our ultimate goal in this
life is redemption and salvation from God. God's
commandment to choose our friends/allies carefully is
intended to help us reach this goal. The best alliance
of all is God's alliance.
[29:64] This worldly life is no
more than vanity and play, while the abode of the
Hereafter is the real life, if they only knew.
[10:25] GOD invites to the abode
of peace, and guides whoever wills (to be guided) in a
straight path.
Peaceful Friday, Salaam and God bless you.
